Feeling contrary

I don't know if there's anyone else who starts feeling a bit contrary around this time of year, or if it's just me, but all of the push to spend, spend, SPEND, makes me want to go make some homemade gifts and send off a check to World Vision or Heifer, International.

As anyone who knows me knows, I'm not averse to spending money. At all. I enjoy shopping. I like nice things. I love to buy gifts and often pick up little things that I think that the people I love will like here and there during the year. But, boy do I hate the constant inundation of ads in my email, my mailbox, and on my radio for DISCOUNTS!, LAST CHANCE!, BUY STUFF!

I can't imagine thinking that my buying RIGHT NOW is so important that I encourage retailers to open on national holidays, causing thousands of moms and dads, sons and daughters, to have to miss holiday time, often with family who have traveled far to be there.

I can't imagine believing that it is so vital that I get my hands on some discounted piece of made-in-China gadgetry that I will trample other people to get to it.

Or that it is so necessary that my child have a particular toy under the tree that I will engage in a hair-pulling fight to ensure its presence.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those, "The world has ruined Christmas" people. Sometime the second week in December or so, when the furor of bargain-grabbing has subsided, I will dress up and go to the mall. (I will, however,  leave town and go to a specific mall where I don't think I'll see anyone shopping in her pajamas, and where I often feel delightfully underdressed.) I will get my triple grande one-pump caramel brulee latte. I will wander in and out of festively decorated stores and pick up a few final gifts. I will enjoy the Christmas music.

I will decorate my house a little at a time, until the tree goes up in a couple of weeks. I'll break out my Christmas music. I'll bake cookies. And if someone wishes me "Happy Holidays" I certainly won't snarl at them.

The world can't ruin Christmas, because it isn't theirs to ruin. They can't even ruin Advent, which is the actual season of the world's "Christmas" frenzy. We can ruin it for ourselves and our loved ones by getting caught up in the pressure to do, be, and buy too much. I always find it anchoring to attend church during Advent. Not just on Sunday, but midweek, too. And if you are blessed, as I am, to be in a church where there are daily services, attending them can be a great antidote to the pre-Christmas stress that overindulgence of all sorts can bring. It's a good channel for my contrary feelings. It reminds us that this is a season of repentance, anticipation, and preparation.

Although a check to Heifer isn't a bad channel for contrarian impulses, either.

“Stir up Your power, O Lord, and come, that by your protection we may be rescued from the threatening perils of our sins and saved by your mighty deliverance.”
(Collect for the First Sunday in Advent.)

I've got the bug

I've got it bad.

 First, there was the thick fall fashions edition of InStyle magazine.

Then there were three days walking around the mall while I watched my friend's one-year-old son. I'm having shoulder troubles, so pushing a happy baby in a stroller and sipping a cappuccino seemed like a good solution.

There are the crisp nights and sunny-but-not-hot days.

Then there are the several hours that I have spent sorting through clothes. I'm swapping out the white crops and sundresses for jeans and. . . ummmm. . . Where are my fall clothes?!

The realization that has hit me is that my fall wardrobe is pathetic. I have been paying tuition for kids in college for five years. Two years ago I had just spent my summer spending money in a manner that  felt, to me, reminiscent of the proverbial drunken sailor. Between our money pit of a house and having a wedding with 300 guests, there was nothing left. And then last fall I felt rotten and didn't feel like shopping, or going much of anywhere.

Add to that a 27-pound weight loss and a 15-pound regain in that time, and you see my problem.

I need to go shopping. I need to buy sweaters and white blouses and cute shoes. I need some jeans. I'd love a leather jacket; they are EVERYWHERE this year. Riding boots. Scarves. Something suede. Burgundy.

Oh, yeah. The bug has bitten hard.

The message of clothes

I had the opportunity to do a lot of thinking about clothes today. I have lost some weight in the past year--to the point that my clothes are quite baggy--so I decided to go do some shopping, hoping to hit some clearance sales. Clothes were on my mind.

Since my shopping buddy got married and moved away last weekend, I was shopping alone, so I had lots of time to think. My first thought on the message of clothes came when I was wandering through Banana Republic, ungreeted and completely unbothered by the people working in the store--none of whom were familiar faces--while they assiduously greeted everyone else who came in and told them about the sale. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and completely understood why I was ignored. I looked schlumpy. My two-year-old, too-big shirt and too-big cropped pants made me look more like I belonged on the "People of Walmart" site than at BR.  I wandered around the store for about five minutes, unaccosted,  and then left without seeing anything that even tempted me to try it on.

Next stop was the Land's End store at Sears. Again, ungreeted. Same was true at every store that I went into except J.C. Penney, where every employee you pass must greet you on pain of death. At Aldo I thought I was truly invisible. I even held a shoe for about a minute while the two people working conversed with each other a couple of feet away, until I left, at which point one said, "Thanks for coming in!" Whaat?!

So all of this was fresh in my mind when I saw, first, the woman in the skintight translucent white jeggings, low-cut shirt & platform shoes dragging the toddler through the mall. (Her outfit didn't say "MOM.") Then I saw the two women in scrubs complaining about the styles at Macys being boring and having no-style. (Unlike their scrubs? Sorry, when you wear scrubs in public I think you're either lazy or germy.) Then, as I was driving to my next stop I saw the kids leaving one of our local high schools on the first day of school, and remembered how carefully my friends and I chose our clothes for the first day. You knew that you were making that first impression for the school year. I was somewhat depressed by the array of long, baggy athletic shorts with sports sandals and flip-flops on guys, tight low-cut tops and the infernal jeggings on girls, and a general air of unkempt, I-don't-give-a-rip emanating from the students. Most of what they were wearing wouldn't have been allowed by the dress code at my public school--which didn't allow the much-in-vogue preppy, knee-length, corduroy walking shorts with matching tights when I was in high school--but, aside from that, it was lounge and recreation wear, not clothing for any activity of importance.

My last stop was my favorite clothing store. I haven't been there often in the last eight months because my life has been crazy. But I knew that I  would find something there to complete my thus-far-frustrated retail therapy. I used to know everyone who worked there, but last fall the entire staff turned over and there were no familiar faces today. So, schlumpy me walked in in one of my few non-Chico's outfits. I was soundly ignored. Completely. It wasn't until I walked up to one of the women with my arms full of clothes to try on that anyone paid the slightest bit of attention to me. And she turned me over to the other person who was working. Oh, honey, your numbers for the day wish that you hadn't done that.

It really was interesting. Usually I dress for shopping. Today I didn't. I wore my comfy, too-big clothes and my Birkenstocks. (Which any observant salesperson would have noticed were new. And adorable. Seriously.) I know clothes send a message. But I really wonder, when I'm out and about, how many people understand or even think about what their clothes are saying. My clothes today said that I either didn't care to, didn't know how to, or couldn't afford to dress in a flattering manner. I recognized that. I kind of knew it when I left home, but it was also part of the reason I needed to shop.

So what's the conclusion? I don't know. I just had to write it all down.

Attempted shopping, part three

Alternately titled, success.

Yes, I did find something to wear for Easter. I was going to head back to Von Maur and try on a scary-expensive dress and jacket, but decided first to try Burlington Coat Factory. I had never been in there, but a friend suggested it, so I went.

First, I was surprised at how nice it was. I was expecting the chaotic warehouse shopping experience, which I hate, but it was very well-organized and pleasant inside. The first dress I saw was $29.99. It was one of the two dresses that I had tried on at Von Maur. Same fabric. Same brand. The price at Von Maur was $69. Whoa!

I wasn't seeing anything, until I walked all the way past the clearance stuff to the edge of the department. I saw a couple of racks of ladies suits and two-piece dresses. Jackpot! I found a warm cream two piece dress that looks decent and cost a fifth of what I was willing to spend. I need to get some shoes, but that shouldn't be hard.

It also should look good with the hat that I fell in love with.

Attempted shopping, part two

Yesterday I tried again. This time I went to Jefferson Pointe.

I did see several things at Von Maur that were very pretty, unfortunately they were constructed in such a way that they were more revealing than my undergarments. Not good. I did find a dress for my favorite life-size Barbie, who really doesn't need a new dress, but I couldn't resist.

I enjoyed walking around JP in the gorgeous sunshine. I visited a few other stores, including my beloved Chico's, even though I knew that they wouldn't have what I was looking for this time. I did find a really pretty shirt, though.

I decided that I would visit Stein Mart on my way home. I got to my car and began searching for my keys. And searching. And searching. Looked in the car window. Couldn't see the keys anywhere.

Did I stick them in my pocket instead of my purse when I got out of the car? Did I drop them when I was putting them in my purse? Did I drop them when I was paying at one of the stores? I retraced my steps, asked at each of the stores. No luck.

Called Bethany to come get me, but then I realized that that would do no good, because I have the only key to that car. So I called a locksmith who could make me a new key after we got my door open if the key wasn't in there. It took about 45 minutes for him to get there, but I had Bethany most of the time, so it went pretty quickly.

He popped open the door and I got in and started looking. My keys were under my book bag on the passenger seat. I still have NO idea how they got there.

I ended up blowing most of the afternoon, but I did learn some lessons:
--Do not talk on the phone to your mother and your almost-five-year-old niece while getting out of the car.
--No matter how many paranoid emails you get about not locking the car with the key fob because of people waiting in parking lots to steal the signal and break into your car, use the key fob. I am--obviously--in far greater danger of locking the keys in the car.
--When they doctor has just told you to avoid citrus fruits, don't drink lemonade, no matter how thirsty you think you are and how good it looks.

Attempted shopping

Bethany and I attempted to shop today between other commitments. I was looking for something to wear for Easter, a dress or a pretty skirt. Unfortunately, we had no luck. I didn't even find anything that I was interested enough in to look at the price tag!

The prints were ugly, the colors were garish and the fabrics were cheap.

Why, oh why, is it so hard to find pretty clothes?

Shopping

Went shopping today with my mom and Bethany. I hadn't been shopping for months, unless it was to look for something particular and necessary for some member of the family. I've always enjoyed shopping as recreation--especially with my mom --but today I just wasn't into it.

Nothing looked like anything that I wanted. It all seemed too expensive. The music in all the stores was too loud. The only store I really enjoyed was Borders. And I had a gift card, which made it that much better!

I don't know if this is a momentary blip, or a sign of some deeper change. But me not enjoying shopping is significant enough to merit comment.

I should never have gone to etsy

While browsing all of the lovely, quirky, adorable, or baffling hand-crafted items on etsy, I made a dangerous discovery. My favorite designer of scrapbooking paper also designs fabric.

Oh. My. Goodness.

Hold me back.

Shopping!

After all of the serious political posts, I decided it was time for a frivolous post.

I went shopping yesterday. I was on a mission. I have really trimmed down my wardrobe and I only shop now with a plan. If it doesn't fit the plan I don't buy it. Yesterday I was looking for a jacket to wear with my habitual black base of black top and black pants, skirt, or jeans. I have a couple, but they are dressier that what I was hoping to find and they are also several years old. I also was looking for a new print skirt to mix in with my black or white tops.

I decided not to mess around, and headed straight to Chico's. This is the jacket I found. The color is great on me and it is going to work wonderfully with the rest of my clothes. I also found a beautiful soft flared skirt in black and grey that will fit in really well with the rest of my wardrobe. (There's no picture of it on the website.)

I also found a brown jacket that fits the plan and was on clearance for 24.99. Since my birthday was a couple of days ago and I had good coupons, I decided to go for it.

I love successful shopping!

Shopping success

Since I have shared frutrations, woes, and angst in the past, I thought I'd share some shopping success.

I have more clothes from Chico's in my closet than any woman should have from one store. But the thing is, they fit me. So I shop there. A lot. I was trying to spend less money so I spent lots of time trying on dozens of pieces of clothing at a number of stores. All I did managed to do was waste a couple of days and get really worn out and frustrated.

So Thursday I went to Chicos. I tried on seven things and bought five of them. I also bought two more tops like one that I tried on. I found a black jacket and pants that are very flattering and will be the core of my fall and winter wardrobe. We also hit a fantastic sale at Von Maur and I found the lightweight white cardigan I'd been searching for all summer.

I think I'm pretty much set for this year. I resisted the temptation to branch into browns, because my wardrobe is pretty good because I've built it on black, khaki, and white, with some color thrown in. Adding in browns would mean adding shoes, too, and I don't want to get into that. I would still like to find a dress. I have skirts, but I'd love a pretty dress for winter.

You can be sure that when I go look, I'll tell you about it.

Shopping angst

I have always enjoyed shopping, especially when I get to shop with Bethany, my mom, or my sister-in-law Kim. But more and more shopping feels like a chore. Yesterday Bethany and I went shopping with things we needed to buy and money with which to buy them, but we left nearly empty-handed.

We just didn't see much we liked. We saw the same colors in every store. We saw lots of cuts that would be only marginally flattering on a tall, thin, broad shouldered model, never mind on a normal person. You know that when Bethany has a hard time finding things that look cute on her there's a major problem!

I did find a really nice pair of classic trouser-cut black pants at Gap. I may look like I'm wearing a uniform this fall if I don't find any new tops to supplement my three white and one pink Banana Republic blouses! (But at least I have those!)

Shopping woes

There are some things I hate to shop for: swimsuits, certain undergarments, paint, and any item of clothing for a family member who is between adults' and children's sizes.

We exhausted ourselves last summer, looking for dress shoes for Jonathan, when he was at that in-between stage, needing a size eight.

Now he needs a sport coat or suit jacket for Christ Academy. Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that they're expected to dress like gentlemen. It's just that Jon has outgrown his navy blazer, and while he's a bit too large for a boys 20 he swims in a mens' 38.

So we spent hours in the heat and humidity today tromping from store to store. We found one 38 that fit relatively well, but it was $365!

Not sure what I'm going to do. I think we'll head back out on Monday and just try to find a reasonably-priced, nicely-cut 38 that he can grow into.

What is it about couches?

My friend RPW is looking for a couch. She is trying to decide whether or not to buy a particular couch that is very comfy, but not the look she wants. She's gotten lots of feedback and it's gotten me thinking about furniture and our houses.

What is it that makes a couch such a big decision? Is it the fact that a couch often sets the tone for a room? The price?

My current couch is the most expensive purchase we've ever made aside from a house or car. We looked for months and sat on hundreds of sofas. We finally drove to the town of Berne, 45 miles south of us, to look at the huge selection of Smith Brothers sofas at Habegger's. We sat on couches until we found the right combination of good looks and comfort. Then we started looking at their hundreds of fabrics. We were lucky to find one we liked relatively quickly. All of this took over two months, Lots of shopping. And a pile of cash.

The funny thing about all of this is, I don't spend money on furniture.

I'm not meaning I don't buy expensive furniture. I'm meaning that, with few exceptions, I don't buy furniture. I've lived for almost 22 years with a bedroom set that I loathe, but it was a hand-me-down (to be abbreviated HMD for soon-to-be-obvious reasons) and it is roomy and sturdy. Our house is full of furniture that used to be someone else's. Kitchen table? HMD. Dining room set? HMD. Hutch, roll-top desk, boys dressers? HMDs. Living room chairs and dressing table for Bethany? Purchased, but for $25 from grandparents' auction.

We have so much handed-down or secondhand furniture that it even fills our garage.

We have bought a bit of other new furniture over the years, but most of it was a mistake. So we were VERY careful in choosing our couch. But why? What is it about a couch?

RPW? Anyone?

Shopping frustrations

I'm trying to find a dress.

I don't need anything elaborate. It doesn't have to be especially cheap. I don't have strict requirements for color, style, etc.

I just want something that fits. I want a dress that is feminine and flattering, but not overly revealing. I have tried on several that were close. One almost worked. The neckline was too low, but I could have tacked a small piece of fabric into the vee. But the armholes were too large, too, so the sleeves were baggy.

I know that I should learn to sew. I'm working on it. But that doesn't get me a dress now.

Does anybody have a suggestion for a store or brand that is "curve friendly?" (But not plus-sized.)

Things I learn from Facebook

I got an email from Facebook yesterday that shows how well my friends know me.

I'm the #1 person they want to go shopping with and I'm among the most talkative, but I'm the least organized.

That about sums it up! They know me.

A little game

Shopping this time of year makes me crazy. Everyone is in a hurry. The people who work in the stores are exhausted. There's too much traffic. I'm not the most patient person by nature, so I sometimes try to do things to amuse myself to keep from turning into the Grinch.

Yesterday I played a little game. I wanted to see how many people I could make smile and/or wave at me while I was in my car. (I briefly considered seeing how many people I could make jump frantically out of my way, but I don't think Bethany would have let me.)

I am usually pretty good about letting people cross in front of me, pull out into traffic, etc. But I discovered that when you do that and give them a big smile, almost everyone smiles back. They don't just hold their hand up in a quick wave of acknowledgment. They smile! There was only one person all day who didn't smile at me. Bethany and I decided that--from the way she looked--she was probably on her lunch hour and preoccupied with everything she needed to accomplish in that short time period, so we cut her some slack and didn't run over her.

The Friday after Thanksgiving

We shopped. We lunched. We shopped some more.

I went with my mom, Bethany, my sister-in-law Kim, and my niece Kate to The Fashion Mall at Keystone in Indianapolis. We have tried other malls for the post-Turkey Day shop, but Keystone is the best. It isn't mobbed by bargain hunters; we always find some good gifts; and there are good lunch options.

Lunch. Mom treated us to the Cheesecake Factory. It was yummy. Mom, Kim, and I were sane and shared a piece of cheesecake.



Too bad. It was soooo good.

The people watching at Keystone is fun, too. Different. Lots of designer bags and people looking like the "Dos" in a fashion magazine instead of the "Don'ts." I love seeing people who wear their clothes really well! I, of course, dressed in my signature black.

After the mall we made a quick run to Trader Joe's. I stocked up on coffee and chocolate.
All in all a most satisfactory day.

Why I hate Wal-mart

In reality, there are so many reasons I dislike Wal-mart, that I don't think I could list them all. Let's start with inferior products and dirty stores. That's enough reason to keep me from going there. Sam Walton's stores were packed with "Made in America" signs, now Walmart stocks mostly things that are made in China. Or maybe it's the strong-arm tactics they've used with companies to lower prices, lowering quality and hurting other companies in the process that makes me despise them.

I'm a shopper and I like a bargain, but I don't think that what we're getting at Wal-mart is a bargain. Check out this video, which was linked to by Scott for a look at an amusing take on Wal-mart's "low prices."

Jackpot!

I have been wearing lots more skirts lately. I love the way it feels. I love the way men hold doors for me.

I have been haunting the summer clearance racks looking for skirts. Since I do not yet sew--although I am working on it (slowly)--I am still limited to what is in stores. And since I've hardly worn skirts for years outside of church and formal occasions, I'm starting almost from scratch.

I've had pretty good luck on the clearance racks, but today was the best. I got a beautiful charcoal gray wool jersey Jenne Maag skirt that had been over $300 for less than $30. The shape is gorgeous and it has just a touch of spandex, so it has a teeny bit of stretch and *lots* of movement.

I spent more on it than I've been spending in my clearance-shopping outings but it is classic, well-made and beautiful.

Back from another planet

As Bethany mentioned yesterday, I went to the Vera Bradley Outlet Sale. It was quite an experience!

This event was going on the week we moved here five years ago, and I had heard about it from people in Illinois, but I didn't realize what a big deal it is until after we had moved here.

People fly here from out of state, because they figure that they'll save enough money to pay for their plane tickets. Women fill multiple garbage bags with purses totes, etc. The company had to set a $2000 limit on what individual customers can buy after shoppers on the final day last year didn't have merchandise to buy.

I was fortunate to have been given a ticket for the Tuesday afternoon portion of the sale, before the actual event begins in earnest, and was among the first few hundred people into the sale. Even at that early hour, there were women who were disgruntled that 200 women would enter the Expo Hall before them. Everything was either 25, 50, or 75% off the retail prices. It was amazing to watch women moving down the aisles at top speed grabbing the desired items and shoving them into bags.

I had a good time.

I have a few Vera Bradley pieces that I've received for gifts, but a Vera Bradley sale isn't where most people who know me would expect to find me. I didn't have a particular agenda, so I was able to take my time and look around. A lot of the fun was watching the women who were almost in a panic that they might not get the piece that they wanted. I did manage to find some great Christmas presents at 50 and 75% off.

I bought a black microfiber bag that I had been looking at. Since I got it for $15 I'll enjoy it a lot more than I ever would have if I'd paid $60 for it.

I'm trying to imagine getting as worked up about a sale as these women were. Maybe it's because I don't have the collector mentality, but I really can't think of anything that I'd be that excited about getting in to buy. (Okay, maybe if it were 75% off really good cookware.)

Maybe.