Happy things #21

I love a new hat. I wore this one to church today, with a new dress, too.

Hats!

Last year I posted about wearing our hats to church on Easter. A picture of the ladies from Redeemer was in the local paper, and then later there was an article in The Lutheran Witness. It has been fun this year to see friends at other churches talking about getting women to wear hats, and to hear from former Redeemer members who took the hat-resurgence to another congregation with them. Here's a post from one friend who has started the tradition at her church.

We wore ours again this year. I hope to have a picture of all of us soon, but until then my favorite from the day (thanks to Nancy Nus):

Ladies in hats

I hope this is the beginning of a tradition at Redeemer. A pretty good chunk of the ladies in the congregation wore hats today. I think there are a few more who will when we do it again. Have I mentioned recently how much I love these ladies, and the rest of my church family?

The service was of course, lovely. The music was glorious! The sermon was excellent. All in all a wonderful Easter.

Attempted shopping, part three

Alternately titled, success.

Yes, I did find something to wear for Easter. I was going to head back to Von Maur and try on a scary-expensive dress and jacket, but decided first to try Burlington Coat Factory. I had never been in there, but a friend suggested it, so I went.

First, I was surprised at how nice it was. I was expecting the chaotic warehouse shopping experience, which I hate, but it was very well-organized and pleasant inside. The first dress I saw was $29.99. It was one of the two dresses that I had tried on at Von Maur. Same fabric. Same brand. The price at Von Maur was $69. Whoa!

I wasn't seeing anything, until I walked all the way past the clearance stuff to the edge of the department. I saw a couple of racks of ladies suits and two-piece dresses. Jackpot! I found a warm cream two piece dress that looks decent and cost a fifth of what I was willing to spend. I need to get some shoes, but that shouldn't be hard.

It also should look good with the hat that I fell in love with.

Heavy sigh...

I will not write posts with any attempt at humor. I will not write posts with any attempt at humor. I will not write posts with any attempt at humor.

Now that I've been suitably punished:

Some of you got my earlier posts on dressing as what they were. Maybe because you know me. Maybe because I declared my curmudgeonly intent at the beginning. Sarcasm and exaggeration were present in abundance.

So for those of you who don't know me:
I have friends who dress well. I have friends who don't. I don't care.

I don't care if you wear a baseball cap in a four star restaurant, unless you're with me. (But, guess what! It's okay for me to have a little pet peeve about that!) I do on the other hand care if you wear shorts so brief that I'm seeing parts of your anatomy better left unexposed.

I don't care if you wear jeans to church. I'm not going to, but you can if you want to. And that is an entirely different conversation.

I do, however, think that the way you dress shows respect--or lack thereof--for where you are and what you are doing. I don't think that the growing casualness in our society is a good thing. Businesses and schools are recognizing this. There have been a number of articles lately discussing the retreat from casual attire in the workplace and many schools and school districts have instituted uniform policies or stronger dress codes, because they know that how people dress has an impact on how they think and act.

As for the guy in the baseball cap that some of you seem so concerned about: The baseball cap was just one thing. If it had been a good match she could have trained him not to wear the hat at the table, inside a building, while talking to a lady. (And yes, for those of you who don't know me and have judged me to be judgmental, I have a HUGE grin on my face as I type that.) It just wasn't a fit.

(Oh--and for anonymous if you are curious--there are many websites with proper hat etiquette. You are fine with your hat on in the mall. It is considered the same as a street. But as soon as you go into an eatery, it should come off.)

Ball caps revisited

One of the comments on my baseball cap post, by "anonymous" led me to wish to post more on this.

I think maybe your opinion about someone's outer appearance should be a little less judgemental (sic). I don't know... just a thought. Maybe that guy who met your friend for coffee just wanted to keep it a casual thing and thought nothing of it. Ya never know.

Whether we like it or not, people are going to judge us based on appearance. It's a fact. It's part of the reason the fashion industry is huge. Everyone knows that part of others' first impression of them is going to be based on what they are wearing. It's why job seekers--and generally people on a first date--make that extra effort to look good.

The way we dress also expresses our attitude toward the place we are going and the people around us. Keeping a hat on in a restaurant or coffee shop is still considered disrespectful and ill-mannered. The few dismissals I've seen of this rule are of the "we're gonna do it, so get over it" variety. Not exactly respectful.

In our society judgment has become a dirty word. But judgment is not a bad thing. This is the definition from the American Heritage dictionary:

1. The act or process of judging; the formation of an opinion after consideration or deliberation.
2. 1. The mental ability to perceive and distinguish relationships; discernment: Fatigue may affect a pilot's judgment of distances.
   2. The capacity to form an opinion by distinguishing and evaluating: His judgment of fine music is impeccable.
   3. The capacity to assess situations or circumstances and draw sound conclusions; good sense: She showed good judgment in saving her money. See Synonyms at reason.

In fact, better judgment could save a lot of pain. Girls. If he comes to pick you up for a date in a cap set askew and a tank top, just stay home. (Unless you're going boating, to play softball, etc.) But, if it's for dinner, forget it. They don't call sleeveless white shirts "wife-beaters" for no reason.

We all make judgments every day about the people we see. Most of them are at the unconscious or subconscious level. We notice whether people are clean, whether they seem to care about their appearance, whether their clothes are appropriate. Sometimes we may notice their attitude, whether positive or negative. Depending on the circumstances this can help us know how to deal with that person.

The young man in the coffee shop with the baseball cap may, indeed, have thought nothing of it. And that is precisely the problem.

And please take off that stupid cap!

Still in curmudgeon mode:

I love to see men in hats. Real hats. Baseball caps are not hats. Baseball caps belong on boys. The only men who should be wearing baseball caps are those playing the game.

I was never annoyed by the ubiquitous billed caps until I started noticing a trend. Guys who wear them don't realize that they aren't supposed to leave them on inside. I have noticed that men who wear real hats tend to be very polite. They remove them inside. They remove them in the presence of a lady. Some of them even doff them. Unfortunately, the same cannot often be said of the overgrown boys who wear baseball caps. I know a very proper young lady who met a guy for coffee. He never took off his cap. Even if he had been fantastic in every other way, he wouldn't have had a chance.

I can understand why the guy doesn't want to take his cap off walking through Walmart or Gander Mountain. I'll cut him some slack. But when he's sitting in a restaurant--white tablecloth, cloth napkins, wine list--he needs to take it off. He also needs to wear a shirt with arms. Please.

ADDENDUM: Yes, many of the men I love wear baseball caps. My favorite bald guy often wears a baseball cap. My wonderful brother wears a baseball cap. That doesn't mean that I have to like it. And if they ever displayed poor hat etiquette, I would probably confiscate the hats. (My favorite bald guy is making a transition to real hats. He looks so incredible in his winter dress hat with his suit and overcoat on!)