Hanging on

The photo above is of a couple of paragraphs from Unstuffed by Ruth Soukup. If you have trouble with clutter or organization, you may find her books helpful. I have. And her website is packed with money-saving ideas.

These paragraphs have been so helpful to me, and I keep returning to them to remind myself that getting rid of things isn't getting rid of my memories of the person who they belonged to. I am very sentimental, and getting rid of anything that belonged to either of my grandmothers is really hard for me, no matter how much I don't need it.

And things that remind me of my kids' childhoods. SO hard to part with. 

We have a rummage sale coming up at church, and being able to donate things is good motivation. And every time I get ready, out of sentiment, to hang onto something that I really don't want, I remind myself of these ideas.

Looking for suggestions again

Last year I asked for your must-read books. From your suggestions I crafted a reading challenge. A number of my friends joined me in this challenge, and I think it has been one of the more valuable challenges that I have done this year. I have thoroughly enjoyed the books that I have read for it and I intend to do it again next year.

Since I have several books in progress that I want to finish by the end of the year, and because I read one of my alternates, I know that one of my choices for this year will carry over to next year.

So again, I ask you, what books have you read that--for whatever reason--you would recommend highly. They can be serious or fun. Fiction, non-fiction, acclaimed or obscure. The only requirement is that you love them.

Please comment here and not on the Book of Face, so that I can keep track of your replies. Thanks in advance.

Reading troubles

I have a book blog, mostly to keep track of the various reading challenges that I engage in each year. I post the occasional review and sometimes progress reports and updates, but, in the main, it is my way of keeping track of what I am, or should be, reading.

I say "should be" because, for me, the challenges function as a curb. They, theoretically, keep me from reading too much fluff. They steer me toward some specific books, some higher quality literature, and more variety than I would likely consume if left completely unchecked.

Some years this works better than others. This year I am in a bit of trouble with my challenges, partially because I've been lazy, partially because I've had a couple of crazy busy times, partially because of my eye trouble, and partially because I have had lots of opportunity to peruse--and check out--the new books at the library.

Another problem is that I've had a couple of books that have really bogged me down. They've been slow going. I just decided that I've had enough of one of them. After half the book, I'm calling a halt. I won't count it for any of my totals, but I will check it off of the challenges that required this particular book, because I am DONE with it.

My sons don't understand it, but I really don't like Dostoyevsky. I didn't like Crime and Punishment. And I have now abandoned The Brothers Karamazov. In fact, I don't believe that I have as yet particularly enjoyed a book by a Russian. I can appreciate certain things about the book, but I don't enjoy it. I figure that I am old enough at this point to not spend any more time on a book that I am practically skimming to get through.

I am about 1/6 of the way through Middlemarch and am enjoying that, but for tonight I think I'm going to curl up with something completely different. Tam Lin and The Book of Three--both recommended and chosen for my "Friends" challenge--arrived last week from Amazon, so I think I'll choose one of those.

I may not do as well with some of my challenges this year as I thought I would. I hate not finishing them. But I also don't want to ruin one of the greatest pleasures in my life by turning it into too much of a chore.

Happy things #16

How awesome is it that there is a place that you can go and bring home stacks of books, and as long as you take  them back on time, you don't have to pay?*

This is my stack from yesterday. It's pretty light reading.I'm interspersing these books with The Brothers Karamazov on my Kindle. I read a chapter of that, and then another book. It keeps me from getting that dark, Russian feeling.

Stacks of library books are one of my life-long happy things.



*(And yes, I know about taxes. I pay them. I know what our library taxes are and it is a deal. I get my money's worth. And I think that libraries are completely within the purview of local government.)

Margin rewind

So, after my last very optimistic post I found out how quickly margin can disappear: Emotional, physical, time, and money all in the space of about a week. Wiped out. It only takes a couple of unexpected events, plus some bad timing, a few sleepless nights, and suddenly BAM, you're back to square one. If that.

But I'm not giving up. If anything I am doubling down on creating margin in the areas where I have control. I have finished the book and--thank goodness--found some things that I am doing right already among the many things that I need to improve.

And I realize that if I hadn't already been working on creating margin, the couple of horrible weeks that I had could have been worse.

I have some steps that I am going to be taking to create more margin. More about that as I solidify plans.

First thoughts about margin

A couple of posts ago I wrote about gaining control of my time. As part of that effort, I ordered a book that a friend recommended several years ago. The title is Margin and it is about giving yourself some space in all of the aspects of your life: time, finances, physical energy, and emotional energy.

As I've started reading it, one of the things that has struck me is how many different directions we have things coming at us from and how many different directions we are pulled by things. I started limiting inputs a couple of years ago. I dumped an email list that was made up of people for whom I cared, but that was--overall--mostly a source of stress. I left a couple of others that had ceased to be useful to me. We got rid of our satellite television service. (That deserves a whole post of its own!)

I have also tried to limit things that are pulling at me. I left a board of directors that made huge, largely thankless, demands on my time. I still serve the group, but in smaller ways. And since I'm no longer on the board, it is easier to say no to those things that I am not inclined to help with. I have avoided the temptations of several other opportunities to be heavily involved with various groups and instead serve, when I can, from the periphery. We also finally found someone to take on my treasurer position at church, which all too often seemed to be the proverbial straw on this camel's back.

There are more things like this that may be jettisoned soon. Nothing is off the table right now.

This room needs margin.

I have a former business that I have left in limbo. I am still spending money--just a small amount, but still money--each month for tools that I am not currently using. I need to come to a decision about the place of that business in my life. Right now it is mental, emotional, and physical clutter. All useful if I return to being active in the business, but if not, there really needs to be a period put to it.

I am also looking for ways to simplify and help to clear out even more of the stuff around here. I have promised myself weekly scrapbooking time, but this year I need to use up the supplies I have. So, that means no new paper. (This truly is not a hardship.) This will save money and force me to use some of the thousands of sheets of paper and cardstock that are taking up space in my extra room.


Anyone who sees me often knows that I wear the same clothes almost all the time. Yet I own a lot of clothes. That fit. And are nice, stylish clothes. I need to figure out what I am going to use and allow the rest to be useful to someone else, instead of hanging in the closet torturing me.

There's more. And I have more of the book to read. But the campaign for peace and sanity continues.

Looking for suggestions

This is something that I would normally put on my book blog, but since no one but me really reads that one, I'm putting it here. There are all sorts of book lists floating around out there, but I want to know what books people love.

What are your must-read books? What books have you loved for the story, the writing, or for some other reason? What books can you not imagine not having read? I'm looking for three, or five, or ten. . .whatever number it takes. I don't want The Bible. It's an easy answer. I don't want titles that you feel like you SHOULD suggest. I want to know the books that you've really loved.

To start you off, I'm going to list the first five that popped into my mind in no particular order:
A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett, . . . And Ladies of the Club by Helen Hooven Santmeyer, The Little House Books (Yes, I know that's more than one), Katherine by Anya Seton,  and The Captains and the Kings by Taylor Caldwell. These are all three books that in some way have influenced me, and that I have read multiple times.

I will list the rest of mine after I see what you all have to say.

How do you read so much?

I get this question frequently and it came up at book group last night. I explained that I always have a book with me, read while I do mundane activities like blow drying my hair, etc.

But I forgot the biggest thing. I don't watch TV. I have watched less than 20 hours of TV this year, and that includes several nights of Gilmore Girls episodes while Bethany was here visiting. I stream Downton Abbey and Project Runway, usually while I'm fixing dinner.

I don't play computer games any more. I don't watch movies, except on very rare occasions as a family activity.

I used to watch a lot of TV. I used to play a lot of computer games. I didn't make a conscious decision to stop, but we got rid of our satellite a year ago and have not missed it. I didn't decide to stop playing computer games; I just don't really enjoy them any more.

I used to lose a lot of time to Facebook and websurfing, but I gave up on trying to keep up with every bit of news from everyone that I know. Now I check in briefly several times a day. I don't just go looking to see if I can find something to read. I check specific sites and then get off.

If I want to relax, I read a book. And I do read quickly. That's how I read so many books.

Books and reading

I am having a lot of fun with my various reading challenges this year and have started doing a few book reviews again. I also have some mini-reviews in my monthly progress report posts. Now that I'm writing again, my genealogy blog may be next to rise from its moribund state.

...and it was still hot

Patrick posted about the death of Maurice Sendak. I am not surprised. In Patrick's childhood, which was in many ways an exercise in self-limiting of stimuli, the Wild Things cut through. They were admitted to his inner space like few things were. So I loved them, too.Reading him that book was a way that I could reach this child of mine who was so closed off.

R.I.P. Mr. Sendak.

Book club

It has been several years since I've been part of a book club and I have really missed it. I've been lucky to have an informal book group in my house--my kids and I have read and discussed many books over the years--but with Bethany gone even that is dying off. I read voraciously, but it is usually a solitary pursuit, and I'm not exactly the solitary type.

So you can imagine my excitement at having a book group again.

We met for our first discussion tonight. It was good: thoughtful, respectful, insightful. A couple of us liked the book better than the others, which is always going to be the case. That generally makes for more interesting discussion. I think we have a good mix of people. Everyone is well-educated, but in different areas. We range in age from mid/late 20s to late-ish 40s. We are all moms, but our kids range from 3-25. Most of us know each other, but there are a few people who aren't part of our usual group, and that adds something, too.

I think this is the start of something good. I like it.

Why Janie can't read

I am, and have always been, a reader. But this year has been rough. I am way off pace. My concentration has been horrible. I have to really be in the perfect mood for a particular book to be able to read it. I keep trying to figure out why this is. It would seem that my favorite relaxing pastime would be just the ticket when things have been a bit crazy, but that doesn't seem to be the case right now.

Very few books that I've read this year have really grabbed my attention. Those that have, have. If you want to see my reading lists, challenges, etc., I have a book blog.

I'm hoping that life getting back to normal helps. We'll see.

Harry Potter, homeschooling, and the end of an era

This summer feels like a turning point in my life for so many reasons. It's amazing how a three-month span of time can encapsulate so much change.

In June my husband began working in another state, where he taken has an apartment. Monday-Thursday we live apart. After 25 years of marriage, that's a big change. As part of that process we are selling the house that we have lived in for nine years--almost twice as long as I have lived in a house, ever--and are moving to a supposedly less-expensive house. The move is one I've wanted to make for years. We will be closer to friends and church. But it has also been problematic, adding a layer of "What the heck were we thinking?" to the change.

In 30 days our only daughter is getting married. It's all good. He's awesome. They're moving away, but not horribly far. They'll be close enough that visiting can be the matter of a weekend. Like  I said, it's good. But it's also an ending. For almost 25 years I've been the mother of four, at home, living under my roof, and soon I won't be.

My homeschooling days feel like they are almost done. After almost 16 years this is also a big change. My 18 year old needs only a burnishing of math skills, and will be in a college class or two this year. My 15 year old is ready to spread his wings. He wants to go to a residential charter school--at a university out of town--for his junior and senior years. It's a good plan. It would be a challenge for me to provide a challenge for him if he stayed. I have one more year with him, but I really don't do anything for him anymore except buy books and shuttle him places.

My almost 21-year-old, who was the catalyst for our homeschooling, and therefore so much of what has been wonderful about the past 15-plus years, has gone from being that kind of weird, unhappy five-year-old who didn't GET letters and hated school to a college honor student and suit-salesman extraordinaire. And Harry Potter was a part of that. Back when I was trying hard not to despair of him ever learning to read, he went from zero to Harry Potter in three days. Yep. Although he had never read a book before, he read The Sorcerer's Stone in three days. It was a major turning point.

And over the past eleven years Harry Potter has been a part of our lives. Almost every summer has been marked by a new book or movie release. We've been to book release parties and midnight movies. We've  bought multiple copies and still had two people lying on the floor with a book open at two different spots, reading. We've debated the good or evil of Snape and of the books themselves. We've drawn all kinds of comparisons between the books and movies and other books and movies. We've gone to HP sectionals at Higher Things and listened to HP discussions on Issues, Etc.

And tomorrow night the last movie comes out. My three oldest are going to the midnight movie with my youngest and oldest sons' best friends. (My youngest is away for the week and can't believe he planned so badly!) I made it to all of the midnight showings until the last, but I fear age and responsibility have caught up with me.

So bear with me if I'm feeling a bit nostalgic. This is yet another chapter closing in a bittersweet summer.

Life-long friends

I was fortunate to grow up reading. Our house didn't have the books-in-every-room decor that my husband suffers, but we owned books and my mother read to me. She introduced me to the library when I was a small child and it and the book mobile became two of my favorite places. I wasn't a particularly popular child, so I spent a lot of time alone, most of it with my face buried in a book. I was reading early enough that there was a run-in with my first grade teacher when she insisted--in front of the class--that I could not possibly have read Charlotte's Web the previous summer.  But I had. And quite a few more, too.

I devoured the Little House books for the first time that year, among others. Over the next few years I fell in love with Frances Hodgson Burnett's A Little Princess, the already-yellowing volumes of  The Bobbsey Twins series that had been my mother's, and my grandmother's contribution, Jean Stratton Porter's Limberlost. I met Katie John, Luvvy and the Girls,Trixie,Pollyanna, Rebecca, the Peppers, and the Melendys. I worked my way through the Nancy Drew mysteries that had belonged to my mom and her sisters, and then moved on to Agatha Christie. After I exhausted Dame Agatha I discovered Dorothy Sayers. About this same time--when I was about 12--I found Taylor Caldwell, Anya Seton, and Victoria Holt. I quickly ran through their writings.

In the school library I found less salutary companions. Judy Blume, Paul Zindel, Go Ask Alice and more gems were the contributions of the library of my Illinois middle school, where I spent a great deal of time during my two study halls every day. Fortunately, they didn't keep me from finding better literature at the public library and, occasionally at the bookstore. And, to encourage the moms whose daughters are currently devouring garbage, they didn't do permanent damage.

I still go back to my childhood favorites from time to time. I just re-read the Little House books for at least the 25th time. A Little Princess is revisited every couple of years. It hasn't been all that long since I spent time with Luvvy and the Melendys. Anya Seton's Katharine is an almost annual read, as is the big hit of my senior year, ...And Ladies of the Club. I introduced all of these friends to my daughter, and we share a satisfying love of many of them. In return, she gave me Anne of Green Gables and all things Austen.

Fine companions, indeed.

Can't wait

I'm almost embarrassed by how much I'm looking forward to this book. I love Jen Lancaster. Maybe it's because we are of about the same age. Perhaps it is the glimpses of familiar places and situations in her mid-western life. Or it could be that we both love to shop and eat and are basically lazy. But I think the most likely reason is that her books make me laugh out loud.

Second Nature

I read the book Second Nature by Michael Pollan and did a very rudimentary review of it, but here's a better review by my friend RPW.

The one good bit

So, I'm reading my second disappointing book in a row. My biggest problem with this one is that although it's good enough, it isn't telling me much I don't already know. When I read history I want to gain some new insight or learn something new. And it seems a bit repetitive. But there is one gem that I've discovered in the book:

"They lived a cloistered, segregated, and selfish life, much like Ivy League professors today."

(And, I dare say, other liberal elites.)

Book: The Last Knight: The Twilight of the Middle Ages and the Birth of the Modern Era by Norman Cantor

Unexpected thing I learned from a book

Last week I read The Food of a Younger Land by Mark Kurlansky. I love reading about food and Americana, so this book--a compilation of Depression-era writings about food from an abandoned WPA project--enticed me as soon as I saw it. The division by regions gave structure to the book, and made it even more informative.

However, my favorite bit of knowledge gleaned from this book was personal. I have always felt a bit of an inferiority complex about my clam chowder. You see, it has bacon. We like it that way. I grew up with it that way. My mom made it that way, and she learned from my dad's mom. But what restaurant clam chowder has bacon? I always figured this was some Hoosierizing of the dish.

But, as I learned, I was mistaken.

One of the oft-debated, but very authentic ingredients in real New England Clam Chowder, is salt pork or bacon. Which is then removed and the onions sauteed in the grease. That's what I do. Some add it back in; some don't. I do. My grandma was a Ruhl. Her mother was a Harrod. Her grandmother was a Pipes. HER grandmother was a Harriman from New Jersey and HER mother was a Hathaway from Massachusetts.

That's in New England. That's about the only part of my family tree that has roots in New England. But I like to think that that is where the clam chowder came from.

By popular request

I have received several requests over the years for a list of must-read books on homeschooling. Last week a friend suggested that this would make a great blog post. So here it is. There may be some newer books that are missing. Since we've been at this for fourteen years, some of these may not be the most current books. I'm sure there are other worthwhile books that I haven't seen, but each of these is a gem.

You'll notice that many of these books tend toward learning theory and the unschooly. Well, that's me. I would argue that it would be good for anyone, homeschooler or not, to read the Gatto books. And any parent would be well-served by reading the Moores, John Holt, and Cindy Tobias.

Better Late Than Early by Raymond and Dorothy Moore
This is a book that I wish every parent and teacher of young children would read. I read this as the stressed out mother of a non-reading seven year old and it probably saved my sons academic life and my sanity.

The Teenage Liberation Handbook by Grace Llewellyn
This book isn't perfect, but as a homeschooling mom it really helped me to free myself from some of the school baggage I was carrying, and to free my children in turn.

Dumbing Us Down by John Taylor Gatto
Weapon's of Mass Instruction by John Taylor Gatto
I consider these the "why to" books of homeschooling. Dumbing Us Down helped to bolster my flagging courage early on by reminding me that what my kids were missing wasn't all that great. These books are especially helpful when you are having to deal with critical and skeptical family members or if you--like me--spend lots of time asking yourself if you are ruining your kids' lives.

How Children Learn
How Children Fail
Learning All the Time all by Jon Holt (You can find all three on the same Amazon page.)
I didn't always agree with Holt, but overall found his writing about learning to make a lot of sense.

The Unschooling Handbook by Mary Griffith
The closest thing to a how-to book on this list. So many people want to know HOW to unschool. Mary Griffith gives lots of ideas and helps to paint some pictures of what unschooling looks like.

The Way They Learn
Every Child Can Succeed by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias
Both of these books are easy, quick, straight forward looks at learning styles and how to work with your child's strengths.

Homeschooling: A Family's Journey by Martine & Gregory Millman
This is the story of one family's homeschooling journey. Here is the review I wrote when I read it.

This is not an exhaustive list. I have enjoyed other homeschooling books over the years, but these are those that I believe are the most important and have contributed the most to our success and enjoyment of this journey. What are some of your favorites?

"I know that book is in the basement somewhere"

My kids have heard me say it more than a few times. I said it about Candide. I said it about Native Son. I said it about Death be Not Proud. I said it about a few books that I've purchased in the last couple of years, even though I was sure they were in the basement somewhere.

Today I found them. In a large, tall Rubbermaid container. Under Bethany's drawings, costume jewelry, Valentine napkins, and packing paper. On top of miscellaneous legos, pieces of toys, and plastic Easter eggs. This bin had been packed by our movers on April 27, 2002 in our basement in Spring Grove. It had been in storage in a warehouse for several weeks. Then it arrived at our house in late May. It was opened, judged--based on the contents on top--to be something I could look through later and put aside. Somehow it got shoved behind the even larger box of dress-up clothes and the box of castle and pirate toys and under the desk that was left in the basement by the previous owners. Earlier basement cleanings assumed that since it was a Rubbermaid bin, the contents were supposed to be there.

Until today. Patrick and I are leaving no box unexamined in the quest for things we can sell, throw away, or otherwise dispose of. He opened the box and the first thing I saw was a drawing of Bethany's, followed by a Xerox of three-year-old Andrew's hand. We pulled the box out, swept off some webbies, and began the excavation.