The bright side

I've been lamenting the cool summer and the fact that fall is coming. My fall wardrobe is lacking. I want to swim in my pool. My older sons will go back to their busy, busy college lives.

But today I had a happy thought.

At least, cooler weather--fall--means I can wear my boots again.

Happy thought, indeed.

Back to school?

Lots of my friends are posting first-day-of-school pictures, or, among the homeschoolers, not-back-to-school plans.

I feel so left out. Okay, maybe not left out. But certainly sad that that time is past.

I am guessing that my 20 year old and 23 year old sons might let me snap a photo before they head off for their first day of the fall semester in a week and a half. And I guess I do still have one student in my homeschool, but he is a senior this year and is completely self-sufficient.

I miss self-consciously sleeping in on the first day of school, then spending the day at the suddenly-empty parks. I miss planning a trip to the Childrens' Museum and Zoo for those first back-to-school weeks before school field trips started. I miss making big breakfasts, following the Oregon Trail, rescuing Zoombinis, maneuvering around tents made of quilts and chairs, and reading aloud.

This is my last year as a homeschooling mom, but it really feels like it's over already, the final gasp of something that has been winding down for several years. And I'd be lying if I didn't admit to being in the midst of something of an identity crisis.

What next? I don't know, but I don't think that my 12-hour-a-week job and trying to keep up with my house will keep me happy for long.

Margin, take two, or maybe three

About exactly six months ago I began thinking and writing about the concept of margin. For a while I seemed to be getting a handle on my schedule. Then just a couple of things outside of my direct control turned my life into something resembling a game of pick-up sticks.

The kind of chaos that needs to end.

Fresh off a few really busy weeks, followed by a short vacation, I'm ready to get back to work on creating some margin in my life. I'm ready to spend some time on the things that I really want to spend time on. I'm ready to try to get rid of more of my physical and mental clutter.

This week, with the help and support of my boss, I've instituted a firm limit on the amount of time I will spend at work in a week. This is going to be a huge help. Now I just need to stick to it.

I've gotten my calendar out and scheduled some time for my genealogy, both my personal research and the work I need to do toward becoming accredited.

I'm trying to figure out what needs to happen with my house to make things as functional as possible.

I've set a date for a yard sale. And for a visit with the husband at his apartment. And a trip to the art museum. Because if these things don't get scheduled, they don't happen.

There are some variables that may make adjustments necessary. I will be a child-care backup for a friend's one-year-old this school year, and will have him most of the week from time to time. I may have family things that come up. Who knows what may happen. But, for now, it feels good to have something of a plan.

Anniversary musings

Weddings are a big deal. In our modern culture, couples will put off the ceremony for years to save more money for the perfect dress or for all the bells and whistles. There is an effort to impress, to wow. Brides turn into bridezillas, insisting that the day is all about them.

I think that much of the reason for this is that as marriage has lost significance in our three-year-engagement, shacking-up, our-kids-can-be-flower-girls culture, the ceremony, for many, has become the marriage. Then on Monday it's back to life as they lived it before. (Well, the Monday after the Caribbean vacation dressed up as a honeymoon for the couple who has been playing at marriage for years.)

But not all weddings are like that. Some couples still fall in love, get engaged, and wait until they are joined before God and man to act like they are married. And those weddings seem to me to be especially joy-filled.

We were privileged two years ago today to have one of those weddings. Our daughter met the brother of one of my friends very briefly when he was in town before he deployed to Iraq. They communicated via computer and letter during his deployment. He came and stayed with our family a few times while on leave and after he got back. They went out on a couple of dates in November and December, and he spent Christmas with our family, then she went to Wisconsin to spend Christmas with his.

When he came for a visit for Valentine's Day, he brought a ring, and asked her father's blessing before he proposed. She said yes. And gave me six months to plan a wedding for almost 300 people.

Perhaps because everyone involved--the bride, the groom, her family, his family, the pastor--had the same understanding about what this day was about, there was no drama. This was a day about joining a man and a woman in the union that reflects the union of Christ and his bride the Church. This was a day that was about creating a new family.

And, once the ceremony was over, this was about throwing a party at which our family and friends could have an awesome time without driving her father into penury. And the bride was okay with that. She was looking forward to being married!

So we used a simple rubric to determine where we should spend money and where we should cut corners: Will this expenditure add to the enjoyment of our guests? If the answer was yes, we did it. If the answer was no, with very few exceptions, we didn't. And it was a great party. Certainly not the fanciest: paper plates and plastic cups are far cheaper than renting china and glass. The table decor was containers from thrift stores that were filled with flowers from Sam's Club by the bride and her friends. And lots of friends helped with preparations, allowing us to keep costs under control.

Am I saying that there is anything wrong with china, gorgeous flowers, etc.? Absolutely not! If we could have afforded it, I would have loved to have done things in a more elegant way. But it becomes a problem when couples put off marriage to save up for the show, or when families go into debt for a bash that they can't afford. We've been to lots of weddings over the years of all different levels of simplicity. We've been to receptions that were formal sit-down dinners at a country club and those that were snacks, cake, and punch in a church hall. They've all been lovely, but some stand out in my mind as having been permeated with a joy that comes from the fact that the vast majority of those present understand that something more significant than a legal check mark was happening there.

And today I am happy to celebrate the second anniversary of one of those. Happy anniversary, Bethany and Evan, and wishes for many many more.

Bonus: The other benefit that comes after an awesome wedding. . .

Strange goings on

This is a very strange restaurant in the smallest town in Connecticut. I know about it because this is where my friend Lori and I waited for a ride and a tow truck when my car misbehaved on the way home from visiting my daughter in New Hampshire. There was an old car full of young hippies/woodsmen, too. With dogs. And a guitar.

The whole thing was very surreal.

The $250 tow was pretty solid, however.

But we made it home, back to normal life, and all is well. Except at the grocery store.

First, I only ever go to this particular store because they carry the yogurt that I prefer and generally have better produce than the closest one does. Today they were out of the yogurt. The lettuce was six days past the sell-by date. They were out of the fresh green beans that were on special. They were out of salted butter. They no longer carry good parmigiano. So I was already feeling like I would have been better off at the store closer to home.

In the check-out line I was disappointed because the rather surly cashier didn't ask if I had found everything, like they usually do. I was ready to give her the list. After I paid and as I prepared to take my cart and leave, I felt something slam into my back and knock me into my cart.

It was a motorized shopping cart. One of the people of Walmart--we saw a few today, or maybe it was pajama day at the grocery--appeared to have escaped and was at Kroger, allowing a two year old boy to help her pilot the cart.

Yes. I was hit by a motorized shopping cart. I have a bruised back and a sore neck, knee, and ankle, too. I feel like I did when I was rear-ended at low speed. I'm probably going to have to make some visits to the chiropractor.

One of my friends said that the weirdest things happen to me. Yes. Yes they do.

Ratafia!

When I got 1/2 bushel of peaches and needed to get them taken care of as quickly as possible, I turned to one of my favorite cookbooks for preserving ideas, The Fancy Pantry by Helen Witty. The second recipe I saw was for peach ratafia. What Georgette Heyer fan could pass up the chance to make ratafia? So in about six weeks, I'll let you know what we think.

Peach Ratafia


1 cup granulated sugar
½ cup packed light-brown sugar
½ cup water
3 cups sliced peeled ripe peaches
Peach kernels (if you are able to get them out of the pits!)
1/8 teaspoon ground mace
1 quart good-quality brandy
1. Combine the granulated sugar, the brown sugar, and the water in a saucepan. Bring the mixture to a boil and boil the syrup briskly, uncovered, for 3 minutes. Cool the syrup.
2. Put peach slices and the kernels into a 2 qt. glass jar or crock with a snug cover.
3. Stir the cooled syrup, the mace, and the brandy together until they are completely mixed. Pour the mixture over the the peaches and stir the whole business. Cover airtight. Set the containers aside for at least a month and preferably 6 weeks. Stir or shake the contents once in a while.
4. Strain the cordial through a fine-meshed sieve bottle it (if corking, use new corks only.) Refrigerate the fruit.

From The  Fancy Pantry by Helen Witty

Grandma's Bread and Butter Pickles

Soak for 3 hours:

2 qts. sliced cucumbers (Thin)

1/3 c. salt (Use pickling salt.)

2 onions (med.)

Add 2 c. celery last soaking hour

Bring to boil:

2 c. vinegar (Heinz is best. Really.)

2 c. sugar

1 t. celery seed

1 t. mustard seed

½ t. turmeric

Add drained pickles & let come to good simmer.

Fill clean jars. Process in water bath for 10 minutes. ( My grandma didn't do this, but, based on recommendations in the Ball Blue Book, I do.)

30 Years

This Saturday is my 30 year high school reunion. I am unreservedly looking forward to it. Facebook is largely responsible for this.

I didn't go to college with any of my high school friends and didn't really stay in touch with anyone, with the exception of a couple of guy friends. I was in contact with them during college and sporadically thereafter, but other than that, in the pre-Facebook world, I knew very little about what anyone from my class was doing. Once in a while I would hear a bit of news about a death, a divorce, or a promotion if my parents or in-laws knew the family, but I had moved away and, with some relief, had pretty much left Anderson behind.

A couple of times in the past I tried, out of a sense of obligation as a class officer, to pull together a reunion with varying degrees of success. But I really didn't want to be there. Then Facebook came along. I joined in January of 2007, a few months after FB opened up to anyone. I had a college-aged daughter who was on and encouraged me to join. I loved it. I had been living my social life largely online since 1996, so this was just an extension of that for me. It wasn't until a year or so later that I began connecting with people from high school. It has been great. I have really enjoyed getting to know people that I only knew slightly in school. I have enjoyed getting to see photos of the children of friends. I have loved reconnecting with my dearest friend from elementary school who I grew apart from in high school--after I lived out of state for a number of years and moved back--but always admired for her faith and her solid sense of herself.


The people who will be there are a mix: some of my best high school friends; people who I didn't know well then, but have gotten to know on Facebook and really look forward to seeing; and even a couple of people that I didn't know at all. I wish more of our class was going to be there. Only about a sixth of us will make it. We've lost what feels like a substantial number of our classmates to death. There are more that we've lost track of. Many, seemingly most--like many of my post-high school friends--have no desire to be there.

But I am looking forward to it.

My online garage sale

I'm going to try something a little different here. I'm going to list some things that I have for sale and link to this from a few places and see what happens. Normally, I pretty much give stuff away when we're done with it, but we had bad tax news this year and I'm kind of in recovery mode. However, I'm still hoping this is a win-win. I can get rid of stuff and someone else can get a deal on what they need.

So, this is how this works. I'm going to make a list here of what I have and what I'm asking for for it. You email me at j a c e 4 0 @ gmail . com (leaving out the spaces) and tell me that you want it and if you think the price is fair. If you are local, we connect. If not, I will ship it, but you will need to pay for shipping. If you have questions about any of these, feel free to ask.

I will put a line through things as they go. I will also likely add some things, so check back.

CURRICULUM and BOOKS
--The Well-Trained Mind (excellent condition) $5
--Usborne Illustrated Dictionary of Math (unused)  $3
-The Landmark History of the American People Volume 1 (Sonlight, 1987) (unused) $5
-Mathematics: A Human Endeavor by Harold Jacobs (excellent condition) with Instructors Guide (looks like someone set a cup down on it)  and Student Workbook (unused)  $20
--Introductory Algebra,( Lial, Hornsby Miller,) 6th Edition PLUS Student Solutions Manual (good used condition) $10
--Beginning Algebra, (Tobey, Slater) 4th edition $5
--Critical Thinking Book One (1998, Critical Thinking Press) and Teacher's Manual (excellent condition) $5
--Critical Thinking Book Two (1998) and Teacher's Manual (excellent condition) $5
--Kaplan SAT Strategies 2008 Edition (excellent condition) $3
--Chronological and Thematic Charts of Philosophies and Philosophers (1986) $3
--Bluestocking Guides (Great accompaniments to the Uncle Eric books) (All excellent condition)
                         --Ancient Rome $2
                         --Solving the Money Mystery $2
                         --Political Philosophies $2
                         --Justice $2
--Editor-in-Chief  Books B2, C1, C2 (1999, Critical Thinking Press) (unused) $2 each or $5 for all three
--Critical Thinking in United States History Series, Bks. 1-4 (Critical Thinking Press) $10
--Key to Percents, Books 1-3 and Answer and Notes Book (unused) $4
--Key to Metric Measurement, Books 1-4 and Answer &and Notes Book (unused) $5
--Key to Measurement (English Units), Books 1-4 and Answer & Notes Book (unused) $5
--Key to Geometry, Books 1-8 and All five volumes of answers & notes (unused) $15
--Key to Geometry Answers and Notes, five volumes $3
--Key to Geometry Books 7 and 8 (unused) $3
--Key to Geometry Book 8 (unused) $1


GAMES
--This vs. That (Unopened, shrink-wrapped) $5
--Sleuth (Unopened, Shrink-wrapped) $5
--Bookopoly (Unopened, Shrink-wrapped) $5
--Bang! (unopened, Shrink-wrapped) $5
--Bananagrams (unopened, Shrink-wrapped) $3
--Kuduk (Cards in box shrink-wrapped) $3
--Guillotine (Cards still shrink-wrapped) $3
--The Amazing Labyrinth (Ravensburger) ( Never Played) $5
--Go to the Head of the Class (Played) $3
--Trivial Pursuit DVD, Pop Culture 2 (Opened) $5
--Loco! Card Game (Sealed) $2
--National Geographic Flash Cards   $1 each pack
                        -Presidents
                        -United States Flash Facts

NEW UNUSED COOKBOOKS
Rachael Ray 30-Minute Get Real Meals $2
Fix it and Forget it Lightly $2

Figuring it out

If I am overly chatty next time you see me, please don't hold it against me.


It seems that in a world that is supposedly dominated by extroverts, (and yes, I realize that the technically correct spelling is "extravert," but that is marked as a misspelling and I hate those red underlines,) I seem to have an uncanny knack for finding the introverts.

Most, if not all, of my good friends are introverts, so I frequently read things that they share about understanding introverts. And I admit that, as an extrovert, I sometimes get a little annoyed by the caricatures of extroverts that are employed as comparisons. So when a blog post was linked on Facebook about introverts getting lonely I almost didn't read it. But I love my friends and I figured that if it was linked to, it was important.

And I'm glad I did, because it helped me figure something out. I am a basically happy person. My default is cheerful. I'm a realist about the larger world, but optimistic at the same time. I love my family, my friends, my job, my church. But for a long while now I have been in a funk. Crabby and short-tempered. I've had a couple of people suggest that I am depressed, but I know that's not the problem. I've been depressed. This isn't depression.

Reading that blog post it hit me like the proverbial bolt from the blue.

I am lonely. Horribly lonely.

I spend a huge amount of my time alone. My husband works in another state and is only home on the weekends. My daughter is married and lives out of state. My sons are busy with school, work, and friends, and when they are home they have homework and other interests. I have wonderful friends, but they are all busy with jobs and their own families, so I rarely see them. But, that said, I really don't think that this is about a lack in those closer relationships. (Except for my daughter, the deserter. ;) )

I have cut back on my activities, trying to ease some time pressure, but have lost some casual social contacts that I am now thinking might have been more important to me than I realized. I no longer haul kids to activities where I get to sit and talk with like-minded moms. I have left boards and committees. For fifteen years I had a succession of very social home-based businesses, but no longer. I'm not busy any more. And while I enjoy having time to do things around my house and having some freedom from time pressure, I'm not sure the trade-off is worth it.

I find myself pathetically happy to have a five sentence conversation with a barista or electrician. Church council meetings are a highlight of my month.

Don't be confused; I'm not bored. I work. I read. I do genealogy. I scrapbook. I try to keep up with my house. I have plenty to do. I just enjoy every single bit of it more if I have someone else to do it with or talk to about it.

I need to figure out if, in trying to build some margin into my life I haven't stripped too much out. Getting my (introvert) husband back will make some difference, but that isn't going to happen anytime soon. When I talked to him about this he gave me lots of good ideas, if I were an introvert looking for a job. (To say he doesn't get it is a major understatement.)

 Any suggestions are welcome. This isn't a post to guilt my friends into more frequent coffee chats. I need to figure out some way to fill my need for that light social chit-chat that my introvert friends hate so. I need to find the balance between busyness and nights spent staring at Facebook wishing someone would say SOMETHING.

Margin rewind

So, after my last very optimistic post I found out how quickly margin can disappear: Emotional, physical, time, and money all in the space of about a week. Wiped out. It only takes a couple of unexpected events, plus some bad timing, a few sleepless nights, and suddenly BAM, you're back to square one. If that.

But I'm not giving up. If anything I am doubling down on creating margin in the areas where I have control. I have finished the book and--thank goodness--found some things that I am doing right already among the many things that I need to improve.

And I realize that if I hadn't already been working on creating margin, the couple of horrible weeks that I had could have been worse.

I have some steps that I am going to be taking to create more margin. More about that as I solidify plans.

Margin multiplies

Maybe the book will talk about this. I don't know. But what I do know is that margin multiplies.

It does. It is rather amazing.

It started with just thinking about margin and realizing that I needed it. Over a couple of weeks I planned in project time and empty time, among the hustle of work and other activities. Putting OPEN time on my calendar meant that when things happened during the week and ate up my project time, I still had my Sunday afternoon that was for whatever: a nap, a project, reading, cleaning. Whatever.

I chose to use the free time to clean my pantry, a task that had been bumped by a couple of unexpected trips across town earlier in the week. This picture is the after. The before had me embarrassed to have anyone in my house,  completely clueless about what was in my pantry, and completely incapable of finding anything that I was fairly certain was in there.

Besides, I LOVE this room. It holds some of my favorite things. It is a beautiful space. I'm lucky to have it. And I want to enjoy it.

But that isn't what this post is about. It's about margin multiplying.

Since I got the pantry cleaned and organized, I was able to fix dinner Sunday through Wednesday without making a trip to the grocery. (Which means I got to miss the beginning of the month food stamp crowd and the oh-no-a-snowstorm! crowd.)  This also meant that I didn't have to squeeze a trip to the grocery in and that I got to use the time for other things.

Since the pantry was done, my Wednesday afternoon project time was spent on paperwork. I got bills paid. Looked at budgeting for the next couple of months. Balanced the checking account. And I got most of the papers that we need for our taxes pulled together over two weeks before I meet with the accountant. (By the way, talk about a decision that gave me margin!) I identified two things that I am missing while there is still plenty of time to get them.

I have margin at work. I am now consistently working at least two weeks ahead.

Knowing what was in my pantry alerted me to some things that need to be used up. This is going to save us money in the long run. More margin.

For me, one huge benefit that I am already seeing is a reduction in worry. This means that I slept like a baby last night. Nothing was nagging at my brain. Good sleep means waking up ready to go. I was able to move through a very busy day feeling like I was firing on all cylinders. Today was incredibly productive. Productivity means that I got more done today than I had planned at work, so I don't need to work tomorrow. More margin!

For some of you, all of this is going to seem so obvious. But for me, with my ADD brain and my heretofore chronically over-committed life, this is a revelation.

Pray for me, that I will be able to maintain it.

Curried Sweet Potato Shepherd's Pie

5 med (12 oz) sweet potatoes, baked and slightly cooled
2 T vegetable oil (I used coconut)
2 lbs ground turkey, chicken, or beef (we've only used beef)
2 t salt
1/3 c flour (we used coconut flour to avoid the wheat, and it worked well)
1 T curry powder (we use Madras curry)
1 3/4 c OR 1 14 oz can chicken broth
1 1/2 lbs carrots, peeled and chopped
1 1/2 lbs parsnips, peeled and chopped
1 med onion, chopped
1 T grated fresh ginger
1 package (10 oz) frozen peas
1 c milk, warmed
2 T butter

1) Preheat oven to 375. Heat 1 T oil in 12" skillet over med-high heat. Add meat and 1/2 t salt; cook until no longer pink.
2) Stir curry powder and flour into meat; cook 1 minute, stirring. Add broth and heat to boiling. Cook 1 minute or until mixture thickens slightly. Divide between 2 1/2 or 2 quart baking dishes.
3) In same skillet, heat 1 T oil. Add carrots, parsnips, and onion, and cook about 15 min, until vegetables are browned and tender, stirring occasionally. Stir in ginger, frozen peas, and 1/2 t salt. Divide vegetable mixture between casseroles.
4) Coarsely mash sweet potatoes. Stir in milk, butter, and 1 t salt. Mash until well blended, and spread over vegetables.
5) Bake, uncovered, 35-40 minutes or until top is browned.

Makes 2 casseroles, of approximately 6 servings each.

From the Good Housekeeping Cookbook.

Sauerkraut Soup

This was really, really good. Fortunately, I had enough requests for a recipe that I can't procrastinate getting this written, or I might never get it down. This recipe is an approximation. I read about six recipes and took elements from each, but didn't actually use any of them. I measured nothing when I made it. This makes a really large amount of soup, but this is the only way I can do this for right now. And remember, this is the kind of soup that is good for using what you have.

Melt 2 TBS of butter in a large stock pot. Add 1/2 chopped sweet onion and saute until just softening. Add stock. (I kept adding more stock and broth as I went, but altogether I used about 3 cups of homemade chicken stock and 4-14oz. cans of Swanson Chicken broth. So about 10 cups of chicken broth total.) Add four big carrots, in bite sized chunks, two parsnips, also in chunks, two ribs of celery, sliced, and about 3 pounds of redskin potatoes, cut in chunks with the skin on. I also added about six cups of water at this point. Add sauerkraut. I am guessing that I had 8-10 cups of sauerkraut. (This was leftover kraut that had been cooked with pork and caraway seeds, so it was really good. If I was starting with fresh kraut I would probably add some supplemental pork to the soup.) I had five brats that had some nice carmelization that I cut up and added, but kielbasa or smoked sausage would be awesome. Add about 1 t. black pepper and 1 t. white pepper.
Cover and simmer for a couple of hours, until the potatoes are getting soft.

In another pan, melt 3 TBS butter. Add about 1/4 c. chopped mushrooms and 1 t. salt. (I will probably use more mushrooms next time, but I wasn't sure that I wanted them.)  Use your flour of choice to make a roux. I used 3 TBS rice flour because I had a bag that had a little left in it that I wanted to finish. Add about 1/2 c. white wine or beer. (Again, more would be good, I had about 1/2 cup left from a box of chardonnay.) Add 1 qt. 1/2 and 1/2, and then, because it doesn't look like enough, add a cup or two of whole milk. Stir until slightly thickened. Add (don't hate me foodie friends!) about 8 oz. of Velveeta. (Because that's how much I had.) Add all of this to the pot and simmer for another 15 minutes, at least. Throw in about 1 TBS of dried parsley.

Makes a lot of soup. :)

Enjoy with crusty bread.

One problem with time management books

" The goal of much that is written about life management is to enable us to do more in less time." Jean Fleming, quoted in Margin. "Perhaps we need to get less done, but the right things."

YES. Oh yes.

The things that happen

When I'm overwhelmed I get more absent-minded. This week I was distracted. Busy. Andrew, who often helps me keep my head on, was very busy working and getting ready for a D&D weekend.
I tried to fit in a few household tasks on Thursday. One of those was making some stock with the carcass of Monday's roasted chicken.

I made the stock.

And then I went to work, made salad for 50 people, went to church, went home exhausted, and went to bed. Friday I was at work almost all day, except when I was running errands. I was gone last night. I went to work this morning, then to the grocery, then did laundry and worked on cleaning the upstairs.

I just decided to get started on the chili for tomorrow's lunch for the D&D players. Grabbed my stock pot from the back of the stove, where I assumed it was sitting clean, having completely forgotten that the stock ever existed.

Oh yes. It's still there.

Andrew usually makes sure all food is properly stowed before he goes to bed. But he probably assumed that the stockpot, sitting on the back of the stove with the lid on, was clean, just like I did today.

Now I need to get rid of wasted, yucky, beginning-to-smell stock before I can cook. This is why I need margin.

Being derailed

Every time I  make a new attempt to get organized, get control, or anything else of the sort, I get derailed very quickly. Something happens--life, my raging ADD, busyness--and knocks me off the tracks and instead of hopping back on, I just chuck it all.

This week I have had my schedule thrown off by a bad headache and sore throat, which wiped out my cleaning day, and a couple of unproductive days at work caused by too many interruptions one day and grief over the death of an on-line friend's husband the other. (If you are not already, please pray for Rhonda. Her husband's death leaves her a widow with six children from four months to 10 years.)

So today, which was to be my catch-up and project day at home, with a little scrapbooking for good measure, is, of necessity, going to be spent mostly at work. But instead of chucking it all, I am determined to regroup. I'm going to sit down with my calendar at lunch and plan next week, shifting a few things around to make up for this week's lapses.

How do those of you who plan your time make up for lost days? I have no problem being flexible; flexible is my middle name.  That is what has always gotten me into trouble with any kind of plan. I'm so flexible that any sign of the plan is soon gone.

And as the week ends I am still behind on my house; I still haven't done a thing with my pictures this year; the laundry is piling up; the refrigerator is a disorganized mess. . . .

Time to get moving

Most of the time one part of my body or another hurts. If it's not my neck and head or my ankle and knee, it's my shoulder and arm or my back. It slows me down. It makes it hard for me to sleep.

The chiropractor helps, but the one I like is thirty minutes away and our budget--tightened as it is by increases in taxes, insurance costs, deductibles, and copays, plus college tuition and the myriad other expenses that accompany it, not to mention the rising cost of gas--really can't handle too many visits.

I've known for a while that I need to do something. A while back--okay, months ago--I ordered a series of DVDs that looked good. I also have a good yoga CD. Part of my new effort at gaining margin and getting my time under control is a commitment to actually use these things.

You see, I have a problem. I am LAZY. I would rather sit in the chair and read than get down on the floor and exercise. In the summer I walk and I swim, but even with that exercise I know that I need to do more if I want to be able to move when I'm 65. Let alone 80.

So tonight I did the first of the DVD's. It was focused on the neck and shoulders. There are exercises and also aspects of body movement that I need to focus on. It felt good. I'm going to start doing these exercises daily, mixed with the yoga.

Saying yes, saying no

My dear friend Mary commented, on Facebook, on my last post, and it immediately provoked another post.

For some of us, even when we are already drowning in busyness, it is very hard to say no. For me it has always come from two things, one weakness and one strength.

The weakness is that I don't want to disappoint people. I don't want to make them sad. I don't want them to be mad at me. So I do things that I don't really want to do and for which I don't have time because I don't want to upset the asker. This is where I need to continue to learn to say no.

The strength is that I like to do things for people. I like to help people when they need help. I like to feed people. I like to host people and events. I have no desire to learn to say no to these things. If you need a meal, if your kid needs a ride somewhere, if you just need a break and need to have something done, ask me.

Learning to distinguish between these two has been tricky. Once in a while they are hard to tell apart. A couple of the people who push me to say no don't understand that all requests are not equal. But they aren't.

The other difficulty that grows out of not being able to say no is not being able to ask for help. I don't want to burden someone else who can't say no by asking them to do something, so I tend not to ask for help. I do, now, have a couple of people who I am pretty sure will tell me if they can't or don't want to do something. And that helps. I can ask them. Sometimes. But that is still really hard for me.

First thoughts about margin

A couple of posts ago I wrote about gaining control of my time. As part of that effort, I ordered a book that a friend recommended several years ago. The title is Margin and it is about giving yourself some space in all of the aspects of your life: time, finances, physical energy, and emotional energy.

As I've started reading it, one of the things that has struck me is how many different directions we have things coming at us from and how many different directions we are pulled by things. I started limiting inputs a couple of years ago. I dumped an email list that was made up of people for whom I cared, but that was--overall--mostly a source of stress. I left a couple of others that had ceased to be useful to me. We got rid of our satellite television service. (That deserves a whole post of its own!)

I have also tried to limit things that are pulling at me. I left a board of directors that made huge, largely thankless, demands on my time. I still serve the group, but in smaller ways. And since I'm no longer on the board, it is easier to say no to those things that I am not inclined to help with. I have avoided the temptations of several other opportunities to be heavily involved with various groups and instead serve, when I can, from the periphery. We also finally found someone to take on my treasurer position at church, which all too often seemed to be the proverbial straw on this camel's back.

There are more things like this that may be jettisoned soon. Nothing is off the table right now.

This room needs margin.

I have a former business that I have left in limbo. I am still spending money--just a small amount, but still money--each month for tools that I am not currently using. I need to come to a decision about the place of that business in my life. Right now it is mental, emotional, and physical clutter. All useful if I return to being active in the business, but if not, there really needs to be a period put to it.

I am also looking for ways to simplify and help to clear out even more of the stuff around here. I have promised myself weekly scrapbooking time, but this year I need to use up the supplies I have. So, that means no new paper. (This truly is not a hardship.) This will save money and force me to use some of the thousands of sheets of paper and cardstock that are taking up space in my extra room.


Anyone who sees me often knows that I wear the same clothes almost all the time. Yet I own a lot of clothes. That fit. And are nice, stylish clothes. I need to figure out what I am going to use and allow the rest to be useful to someone else, instead of hanging in the closet torturing me.

There's more. And I have more of the book to read. But the campaign for peace and sanity continues.

A little sea air

If the doctor thought outside the pill box, this would be just what the doctor ordered. My cough is better than it has been all winter. Almost gone. And nothing cures the winter blahs like sunshine, white sand and palm trees.

Now I can make it to spring.

Time control

With January coming to an end, it seems like it's high time to make some decisions about what I'm going to do differently this year. I've been thinking about it a lot, but I've just been either too busy or too wrapped up in being sick to really think about it.

The timing for reading this blog post was good.

I have cleared some things off my plate over the last couple of years. Some due to decisions and some due to kids getting older--like becoming adults--and not needing the same kind of time. But I don't feel like I'm making good use of the time that I've gained. I do manage to get things accomplished, but there are also a lot of things that I just never seem to get to.

Until this month, I have done pretty well protecting my Tuesday. It is the day that I have decided that I don't work. In fact, I try to not even go into the church. It has been the day that I know that I can at least get a nice chunk of housework done and catch up a bit on the laundry. But this month because of being sick, going to visit the hubby, and trying to make up for being gone, I have not had a single entire day at home. (Except when I was too sick to do anything.)

But I need that day. And I'm going to start planning one minor major project for each Tuesday. Tasks like cleaning the refrigerator that need to be done regularly, although not weekly. Things that help other aspects of life stay under control. (In the case of the fridge, the current level of disorganization impacts meal preparation and the food budget. We have waste. We have duplication.) I also want to schedule some time each week for house projects, instead of just hoping that there is time available. We still have a long way to go on this house. There are things like painting, curtains, and minor repairs that I can do.

My work time is already on my calendar. But I need to plan some time for my other potential income sources. I need to plan time for eBay & Craigslist listings. I need to plan time to continue the work that I have done toward being certified as a genealogist. And I need to keep trying to figure out how I can contribute more to the family income so that my husband can come home.

I am going to schedule some time for scrapbooking. I don't know if it will be weekly. Maybe I would rather have a longer time less frequently.

And finally, and possibly most importantly, I am going to schedule time for people, starting with my husband. For too long our relationship has been crowded into weekends that are full of house projects and church activities. I spent a week at his apartment in January. We're taking a vacation--our first in several years--together in February. I am going to plan time with him each month outside of the weekends.

I am also going to schedule time for my friends. I do pretty well keeping up with my local friends, although once in a while I realize that I have hardly seen one of them for months. I'm trying to figure out exactly how I want to handle making sure that time happens. The larger task is getting some time planned into my schedule to spend with out-of-town friends. I have been very lucky. Because of events in Fort Wayne I get to see my out-of-town friends more often than I deserve. I am spoiled. But there are several of them that I have wanted to visit. Some for YEARS. None of them live that far away. This year those visits need to happen.

And then, of course, I need to make sure that I allow for time to visit my daughter and enjoy being Grandma.

I am hoping that getting more organized about how I'm spending my time will make my downtime feel more relaxing. Most of the time when I am not actively accomplishing something I'm feeling like I should be. Guilt is not relaxing.

We'll see how this goes. Being organized has never been my strong point. But I do love calendars and lists.

Thinking about homeschooling

As is wont to happen in this crazy brain of mine, suddenly, as our homeschooling is winding down, I find myself thinking about it all of the time. And wanting to write about it.

So I've added a couple of posts to my homeschool blog.

I can almost guarantee that there is more to come.

Updated to-do list

Thanks to Susan visiting and commenting on my almost-forgotten to-do list, I did some updating today. A lot has happened in the last four years that wasn't on that list.

It didn't say get a job.
It didn't say graduate two sons from our homeschool and send them to college.
It didn't say find your husband an apartment in another city so that he can spend five days a week elsewhere.
It didn't say plan and host a wedding. Or become a Grandma.
It didn't say buy a money pit and invest huge chunks of your timeinto tearing apart and fixing up.
It didn't say take some time almost every day in the summer to enjoy your pool. Or have a beer with your neighbor, or go for a walk with your sons. But I'm glad that I've done these things.

The Litany

I love The Litany. I love the rhythm of it. I love the words.

And although I love praying it in church, surrounded by my brothers and sisters in Christ, it is good to pray alone, too. Often, on days like this when I feel anxious, I turn to this prayer.

P: O Lord,
C: Have mercy.
P: O Christ,
C: Have mercy.
P: O Lord,
C: Have mercy.
P: O Christ,
C: Hear us.
P: God the Father, in heaven,
C: have mercy.
P: God the Son, Redeemer of the world,
C: Have mercy.
P: God the Holy Spirit.
C: Have mercy.
P: Be gracious to us.
C: Spare us, good Lord.
P: Be gracious to us.
C: Help us, good Lord.
P: From all sin, from all error, from all evil; from the crafts and assaults of the devil; from sudden and evil death; from pestilence and famine; from war and bloodshed; from sedition and from rebellion; from lightning and tempest; from all calamity by fire and water; and from everlasting death;
C: Good Lord, deliver us.
P: By the mystery of Your holy incarnation; by Your holy nativity; by Your baptism, fasting, and temptation; by Your agony and bloody sweat; by Your cross and Passion; by Your precious death and burial; by Your glorious resurrection and ascension; and by the coming of the Holy Spirit, the Comforter;
C: Help us, good Lord.
P: In all time of our tribulation, in all time of our prosperity, in the hour of death, and in the day of judgment,
C: Help us, good Lord.
P: We poor sinners implore You
C: To hear us, O Lord.
P: To rule and govern Your holy Christian Church, to preserve all pastors and ministers of Your Church in the true knowledge and understanding of Your wholesome Word and to sustain them in holy living, to put an end to all schisms and causes of offense, to bring into the way of truth all who have erred and are deceived, to bless the Church’s life-giving message that Jesus is Lord, to bring comfort to the sorrowing and hope to those living in fear, to beat down Satan under our feet, to send faithful laborers into Your harvest, and to accompany Your Word with Your grace and Spirit,
C: We implore You to hear us, good Lord.
P: To raise those that fall and to strengthen those that stand, and to comfort and help the weakhearted and the distressed,
C: We implore You to hear us, good Lord.
P: To give to all peoples concord and peace, to preserve our land from discord and strife, to give our country Your protection in every time of need, to direct and defend our president and all in authority, to bless and protect our magistrates and all our people, to keep in safety the members of our armed forces and to give wisdom to those in command,
C: We implore You to hear us, good Lord.
P: To forgive our enemies, persecutors, and slanderers and to turn their hearts; to give and preserve to our use the kindly fruits of the earth; and graciously to hear our prayers;
C: We implore You to hear us, good Lord.
P: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God,
C: We implore You to hear us.
P: Christ, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world,
C: Have mercy.
P: Christ, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world,
C: Have mercy.
P: Christ, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world,
C: Grant us Your peace.
P: O Christ,
C: Hear us.
P: O Lord,
C: Have mercy.
P: O Christ,
C: Have mercy.
P: O Lord,
C: Have mercy. Amen

Looking for suggestions

This is something that I would normally put on my book blog, but since no one but me really reads that one, I'm putting it here. There are all sorts of book lists floating around out there, but I want to know what books people love.

What are your must-read books? What books have you loved for the story, the writing, or for some other reason? What books can you not imagine not having read? I'm looking for three, or five, or ten. . .whatever number it takes. I don't want The Bible. It's an easy answer. I don't want titles that you feel like you SHOULD suggest. I want to know the books that you've really loved.

To start you off, I'm going to list the first five that popped into my mind in no particular order:
A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett, . . . And Ladies of the Club by Helen Hooven Santmeyer, The Little House Books (Yes, I know that's more than one), Katherine by Anya Seton,  and The Captains and the Kings by Taylor Caldwell. These are all three books that in some way have influenced me, and that I have read multiple times.

I will list the rest of mine after I see what you all have to say.

Welcome Helen Irene

My beautiful granddaughter made her entrance on Saturday, September 1 at 5:18 central time. She weighed six pounds, six ounces and was 19 inches long.

I drove, perhaps speeding a bit, From Fort Wayne to Madison on Saturday, arriving at about 11:45. It was one of the slowest and fastest trips I've ever made at the same time.

Getting to spend the better part of a week taking care of my baby while she takes care of hers is a joy that I feel very lucky to be able to have.

White paint

I haven't painted a room white-ish in years. I think it was in 2000, when we were getting our house in Columbus ready to sell. My brother and I painted all night, painting several rooms white.

Since we bought this house we've used a lot of color.

There are also bedrooms that are forest green with chocolate brown woodwork (the woodwork was already painted in that room), a lovely ocean-y blue, and a warm orange-y color. I like color. The dining room is going to be a rich burgundy. I still don't know what I'm doing with the kitchen.

But since all of the main floor rooms open from the hall, I decided that it should be white-ish. So I put paint swatches up for several weeks and compared them at different times of day. It needed to be a clear enough white that it didn't look dirty against the blue and white in the butler's pantry, but warm enough that it didn't look stark.

I like it.

Next up: the main bath is about to be remodeled. And it's going to be mostly white. But I have a plan to get my color in there.

Happy, sad, strange, mysterious

When Andrew was little he would climb into my bed very early in the morning and while I was still trying to sleep he would play with my face. As he pulled on it he would create different expressions and say, "Happy, sad, strange, mysterious," to describe the contortions through which he was putting my face.

At one point today those words came to mind and I realized how perfect they are to describe the way my life feels right now. The back-to-school season is bittersweet as yet another of my kids begins college. Those lovely, hectic, stressful years of homeschooling four kids went way too fast. Two of my kids are full-fledged adults. The third is well on his way. And even my baby is a very self-directed, hard-working, almost 17-year-old, who is looking for a job and planning to begin college classes in the spring.

Being Grandma-on-baby-watch has me feeling at loose ends. I'm having trouble settling into working on any projects. I can't make set-in-stone plans for the next couple of weeks. I can't wait to see Helen. I think about her--and, of course--my Bepper, all of the time.

My house still has major projects to be done. And minor projects which we know will go on for years. There is also some regular maintenance and clean-up that needs to happen, and that pool leak to fix. All of this to do with sons who are busier than ever and a husband who is home less than 60 hours a week, about 25 of which are for sleeping. I think both of us--and our bank account--have project fatigue.

Life feels strange right now. The hubby and I are both in the medical tests/doctors appointments/referrals to specialists circus. The political landscape seems rocky. Our household budget is being severely tightened. Things feel slightly out of focus.

And yet, I am happy.  I think that Andrew, at two, was profoundly descriptive of life on this earth.

Prayers

I'm not great about praying. I'm lazy. I forget. I get busy or tired or distracted. Mostly distracted. But I do still manage to pray  at least once a day. And I do lots of little, spur of the moment, situational prayers.

One thing that I pray on a consistent basis is that somewhere out there God is watching over three young women who will be as perfect for my sons as Evan is for my daughter.

Happy anniversary to my daughter and her wonderful husband.

Playing with pickling

I'm still trying to get over my cold, but I couldn't take sitting still today. I decided that being outside and getting my vitamin D would be a good idea. I did some more work in my garden and ended up with a lot of little green cherry tomatoes that had fallen on the ground or were growing in spots where they ended up sitting in the dirt.

Yesterday I found a recipe for basic brine and I pinned it so that I would be able to find it when I needed it. I decided that I needed it today. I like something zippy with most of my meals, so we go through a lot of pickles. I'm determined to fill as much of that need from my own garden as possible, so it seemed like a good time to get started.

I didn't have the time, inclination or energy to can today, so I just played a little with some refrigerator pickles. The big jar of the green tomatoes is just brined. The smaller jar has brine and red pepper flakes. I discovered that I had twelve pounds of carrots and part of them were needing to be used, pronto. So I sliced up a pound of them and combined them with some sliced onion, garlic pepper, and red pepper flakes. The cukes are just in brine and garlic pepper. I did them mainly to see how they would turn out.

Tomorrow, if time permits, I am going to do some bread and butter pickles and a couple of small jars of squash pickles and beets.

I love taking the goodies that are coming from the garden now and doing tasty things with them to keep them for the winter.

I don't sit still

Come over here close. I need to tell you a secret.

You know the wriggly nine-year-boy whose teacher can't wait to put him on Ritalin? That's me. Except I'm a 40-something mother and grandma--I just haven't met my grandchild yet--and I haven't driven a teacher crazy for years.

But I don't sit still well. I manage in church, because I love it. I manage, barely, for other events like movies and concerts. I move around during Bible Class. And if I do have to sit, I doodle. And squirm.

Sometimes one of my sweet friends will let me borrow a child to watch during church, or Bible Class, or a Bach Collegium concert. And it looks like the child is the only wriggly one.

But he's not.

We had our family retreat at church this week. There were people who were concerned that I "never sat down" or that I didn't get to "enjoy the retreat." Believe me, I enjoyed the retreat plenty. I got to talk to friends, work in the kitchen, and talk about homeschooling, Lutheranism, and raising our kids. I got to sing some good hymns, plus the Te Deum and the Venite. I got to hear some incredible music. I got to see teens and adults and little kids dancing and laughing together.

It was good. And I enjoyed every minute of it.

But please don't make me sit still.

One bad barista can really ruin your day

The boys and I ran an errand to Sweetwater Sound for the church this afternoon. We were thinking of stopping at Zesto, but the desire for soft-serve was trumped by the need for more caffeine.

We stopped at the Starbucks out at the Village of Coventry, in our old part of town, for the first time in months. We went to the register, ordered, and happily paid the price for two iced double tall one-pump caramel macchiatos and a grande mocha coconut frappucino and stepped to the end to wait for our drinks.

I noticed that the young barista who was making drinks was really surly as she slid a venti shaken no-sweetener passion tea across the counter. And, as she plunked a venti shaken five-pump raspberry passion tea down, I thought that maybe she just didn't like passion teas. But she made our first drink--which I told Jonathan to take--slamming down a pitcher that she bumped as she moved toward the counter.

I watched her make my drink, seeing--from frequent experience--that she hadn't allowed for the double shot in my drink. Before she put the lid on I asked, "Could you please give me a dome lid so that that doesn't leak out?" She looked at me with a look that said, "You are stupid and annoying," and said, "It won't leak," as she put the lid on, causing it to leak out the hole in the top and down the side. I just looked at her, and she said, "It's only leaking a little bit," with another sneer. I told her that it was too messy for me in a white cotton shirt and she threw a fit, throwing my lid into the sink putting new caramel on--because it all stuck to the discarded lid--and handing the sticky cup back to me with a scowl.

Then we waited. And waited. And waited. We waited 12 minutes for Andrew's frappucino while almost everyone who came in after us was served. I finished most of my drink. Several times she looked at us and ignored us. Finally the guy who came in five minutes behind us realized she wasn't paying attention to the waiting frappucino orders and asked her about it. She told him they were working as fast as they could. (They weren't very busy.) Then she made his frappucino.

Finally, she made Andrew's. As she handed it across I couldn't help letting the snarkiness out. I'm sorry. I said, "Only 12 minutes for a frappucino and service with a smile." She started yelling at us. As we left, her coworkers were still trying to get her under control.

I have nearly endless patience with bad service. I've done too much time in food service and retail to be impatient. I'm fine with slowness, ineptitude, being in the weeds, less than on-the-ball people, etc. What I can't stand is bad attitude. I was perfectly nice when I asked for a dome lid. I smiled. It wasn't an unreasonable request. Half the time, if the barista can see that they've filled the cup too full, they'll just do it. If they don't notice and I do they are more than happy to give me a dome lid. More than once I've had them offer to remake my drink when it leaked out. I always say no and wipe it off.

But standing there with my sons, either of whom would love her job, and knowing how many great teens we know who can't find one, her nasty attitude really got to me. And the boys. Afterward the subject just wasn't going away. They couldn't figure out how someone who had a job that they can't even get an interview for could have such a lack of concern about customer service. It really bothered them.

Jonathan mentioned that part of what you pay for when you go to Starbucks is the experience. The atmosphere. The friendly baristas.

So, no. Our day wasn't really ruined, but it did cast a shadow. Since I always have a goal when I leave the house of making someone that I don't know smile, the whole thing left me feeling rather bummed. I knew that I shouldn't have let her get to me, but there was something about the petulant, snotty attitude that really pushed my buttons.

So we'll stick to our usual Starbucks from now on.

Walking through other peoples' houses

Today was the homes tour for one of the neighborhoods near ours. This is the first home tour that I have been on since we bought this house and walking through several of those houses was very encouraging for me. First, there was the fact that a couple of them needed almost as much work as ours did when they were purchased. They are just a few years ahead of us. It was interesting to see what people had done.

I also enjoyed seeing the colors people had chosen and the places they chose to retain the old--or to update--and how each decision worked.  It reaffirmed some of what I am hoping to do and, I think, helped bolster my confidence in the colors that I am choosing. I love color, but tend to be afraid that I'll overdo it.

One house in particular was fabulously decorated. But not "decorated." Rather it was populated with a lifetime's collection of books and art of various kinds. His taste was incredibly eclectic and ranged from paintings to textiles to pottery to glass to photography to furniture pieces that were art in their own rights. Each piece was beautiful in its way, and the totality was breathtaking.

It was good for me to see that home, because I worry sometimes that my "I know what I like" style might not hang together. But, after today, I am fairly certain that as long as I keep choosing, carefully, those pieces that I find beautiful, it will be okay. My paintings of various styles can hang out just fine with my batiks, glass pieces, pottery, icons, etc., and it can all be beautiful together.

How do you read so much?

I get this question frequently and it came up at book group last night. I explained that I always have a book with me, read while I do mundane activities like blow drying my hair, etc.

But I forgot the biggest thing. I don't watch TV. I have watched less than 20 hours of TV this year, and that includes several nights of Gilmore Girls episodes while Bethany was here visiting. I stream Downton Abbey and Project Runway, usually while I'm fixing dinner.

I don't play computer games any more. I don't watch movies, except on very rare occasions as a family activity.

I used to watch a lot of TV. I used to play a lot of computer games. I didn't make a conscious decision to stop, but we got rid of our satellite a year ago and have not missed it. I didn't decide to stop playing computer games; I just don't really enjoy them any more.

I used to lose a lot of time to Facebook and websurfing, but I gave up on trying to keep up with every bit of news from everyone that I know. Now I check in briefly several times a day. I don't just go looking to see if I can find something to read. I check specific sites and then get off.

If I want to relax, I read a book. And I do read quickly. That's how I read so many books.

Internet friends

I often hear people decry time spent online as taking away from "real" relationships. I was reminded of that again this morning as our house and church basement are full of young people who we almost certainly would not have known without the internet.

These are my daughter's best friends. She met them ten and more years ago. They live in Wisconsin, Texas, Indiana, and Ohio. When she first started getting to know them we lived in Illinois. I originally met all of their parents online through a homeschool email list or two.  During their high school years they kept in touch via email and chat, seeing each other a couple of times a year. She has been lucky enough to live in the same town as one or two of them for a year here and there, but if they hadn't already known each other, their paths wouldn't likely have crossed. Due to the cliquish nature of the homeschool community we found when we moved to Fort Wayne, the hours she spent chatting and emailing kept her from being a very lonely girl.

Earlier this week my friend Jenny was here from central Illinois with her husband and daughter. I met Jenny on an email list a few years ago, and, when she came with a group of other moms for a visit, she met Bethany and decided that her brother needed to, too. So she brought him for a visit. Bethany and Evan kept in touch while he was in Iraq. Now they are looking toward their first anniversary in August and their first child in September. He graduated from college in Minnesota and was in the army. She graduated from college in Indiana and was working as a paralegal. But for the internet, their paths weren't likely to cross.

Email and message board friends saved us in the early years of homeschooling when I had no in-person homeschooling contacts. Most of my closest friendships have come about because of the internet. And old friendships have been renewed through Facebook. And even local friendships are enriched by sharing pictures, activities, and the little ups and downs online.

I have lots of in-person friends and "real-life" activities, but the value of the time that I've spent online--from the early social network of AOL, to later message boards and email lists, to Facebook and Twitter now--has paid me richly in relationships and quality added to our lives.

Books and reading

I am having a lot of fun with my various reading challenges this year and have started doing a few book reviews again. I also have some mini-reviews in my monthly progress report posts. Now that I'm writing again, my genealogy blog may be next to rise from its moribund state.

Can we talk about bicyclists?

Drivers are constantly being told that we need to be aware of bikes. And this is true. But I would like to see an emphasis on bicyclists knowing and following rules and safety tips to go along with the chiding of drivers and the spending of tax money to give them bike lanes, racks, etc.

I like to ride my bike, too, but, in my awareness of bikes, in just one day yesterday, driving very little--just between the south side of Fort Wayne to downtown and back thrice--and mainly on busy roads, this is what I saw.
--An adult male cutting catty-corner across a busy street causing one car to have to brake quickly.
--A teen in the bike lane--bike lanes that caused a busy four lane road to be narrowed to two lanes with a suicide lane in the middle--popping wheelies and leaving the bike lane repeatedly.
--A cyclist going the wrong way in the same bike lane talking on his cell phone. (For my purposes, cyclist denotes someone in biking attire.)
--A cyclist running a red light.
--A cyclist riding in the suicide lane to go around a stopped school bus.
--A woman riding her bike down the sidewalk, on that street with the bike lanes, almost taking out a group of kids who were walking home from school.
--A woman riding her bike, pulling one of those baby carriers, at 9:15 p.m., in the dark, on the street, in dark clothes with no reflectors. ANYWHERE.
--A man in dark clothes about 20 minutes later, when I was on my way home from downtown riding hands-free down a busy street. Again, no reflectors at all.

All of this is just a little taste of the bike antics I see everyday. So yes, we watch out for them. but don't they have some responsibility, too? A lot of the riders I see are riding on either the wrong side--against traffic--or cutting in and out, using suicide lanes, etc. Saturday night the hubby and I were treated to the sight of about a dozen inebriated riders leaving a bar and climbing onto their bikes. That sure looked safe. Ummm. Maybe not.

So yes, ride bikes.  But do it safely.

Pack it in

The next three weeks is going to be crazy. Cuh-ray-zee.

Wednesday and Thursday I'll be off on a road trip rescuing my daughter from behind the cheddar curtain. Friday I'll be busily preparing for the baby shower that a couple of friends and I are hosting on Saturday for another friend who is pregnant 12 years after her last one. We have ballgame tickets for Saturday night.

Sunday is an out-of-town trip for a shower for Bethany. Next week we will have out-of-town-company Monday through Thursday as we prepare for more out of town company Friday through Sunday. And another ballgame Saturday night.

Then there will be three days respite during which I will work frantically to get my at-work work done and my house somewhat sane before I leave for four or five days to take my Precious back to Wisconsin and help her and Evan make their first of two moves this summer.

In the midst of this I need to keep working on my pool, continue reclaiming my house from the great storage expulsion,feed people, and work on some web/social networking/marketing stuff for a friend's new business. And do my job that they pay me for.

When I come back it will be June. It will be four days until Jonathan's graduation party and five days before we begin demolition on our main bathroom.

...and it was still hot

Patrick posted about the death of Maurice Sendak. I am not surprised. In Patrick's childhood, which was in many ways an exercise in self-limiting of stimuli, the Wild Things cut through. They were admitted to his inner space like few things were. So I loved them, too.Reading him that book was a way that I could reach this child of mine who was so closed off.

R.I.P. Mr. Sendak.

Book club

It has been several years since I've been part of a book club and I have really missed it. I've been lucky to have an informal book group in my house--my kids and I have read and discussed many books over the years--but with Bethany gone even that is dying off. I read voraciously, but it is usually a solitary pursuit, and I'm not exactly the solitary type.

So you can imagine my excitement at having a book group again.

We met for our first discussion tonight. It was good: thoughtful, respectful, insightful. A couple of us liked the book better than the others, which is always going to be the case. That generally makes for more interesting discussion. I think we have a good mix of people. Everyone is well-educated, but in different areas. We range in age from mid/late 20s to late-ish 40s. We are all moms, but our kids range from 3-25. Most of us know each other, but there are a few people who aren't part of our usual group, and that adds something, too.

I think this is the start of something good. I like it.

The need to write

I've been scribbling on scraps of paper, doing scrapbook journaling--sans pictures--and working on a couple of posts for someone else's blog. Sometimes lately I feel that I am about to explode with pent up words. So I return to my neglected blog. I don't know if this will be for a day or a season, but for now I will write.

The new year's news

My exciting new year's news is that I am going to be a grandma.

All else pales in comparison.

What a year!

This time last year:

• We knew a transfer for Colin would be coming, but not the timing.
• Evan and Bethany had been dating for almost two months. He had spent Christmas at our house and she was in Wisconsin meeting his family. Colin and I drove up to Wisconsin to bring her back. We met Evan's parents over lunch at Buca di Beppo on New Year's Day.
• We lived in the same house we'd been in for almost nine years and knew that we had a lot of work to do to get it ready to sell.
• We had our eye on a house close to church that had been on and off the market for years.

 Now:

• Colin has been working in the 'burbs for seven months, staying in an apartment during the week, and coming home on the weekends.
• Evan and Bethany have been married for 4 1/2 months. (That means we got an engagement, wedding planning, and an out-of-state move for her all into one year!)
• We prepped our former house, vacated for tons of showings, and ended up living there for a couple of months longer than we had planned. This fall we turned it over to a relo company and heard yesterday that it is finally sold.
• We bought our "less-expensive" house down the street from church and spent our summer finding out all of the problems it had and spending all of our money to fix them. It is on its way to being exactly the home we wanted and the location is great.

It was all rather frantic and stressful while we were living it. But, with the exception of Colin being gone four nights a week, it's all turning out well. And that has an end down the road, which makes it bearable.

Five Cheese Egg Casserole

I've had several requests for this recipe. I first had this at a B&B I went to this fall for a scrapbooking retreat. I loved it and was glad to be able to purchase the recipe. I have made it twice this month, once for a ladies brunch at church and once for our family Christmas morning.

7 eggs

1 cup milk

4 ounces monterey jack cheese, shredded*

4 ounces colby cheese, shredded *

8 ounces cheddar cheese, shredded

4 ounces cream cheese, cubed

16 ounces small curd cottage cheese  (Michigan brand is perfect, if you can get it.)

4 tablespoons butter, melted

1/2 cup flour

1 teaspoon baking powder 

1/2 t. salt

Fresh herbs to taste

Preheat oven to 350. Whisk eggs and milk together. Stir in the cheeses and melted butter. Stir in the flour, salt, and baking powder. Immediately pour into a buttered 13x9 pan. Bake 45-50 minutes.

*When I made it the first time I gave up my colby to another cook and used double the monterey jack. I liked it a bit better that way, so my suggestion is to leave out the colby and use twice the mj. It seems to let the flavor of the cheddar really stand out.

Early New Year's Resolutions

I've spent some time this evening lining up my reading challenges for 2012.

It's made me start thinking about my plans for 2012 and I've got a few resolutions.

In 2012 I will:

--Swim in my pool.
--Read more books.
--Plant a garden and enjoy the harvest.
--Go on a vacation.
--Not tear out any walls.
--Enjoy the occasional Saturday with the hubby.

I also have no intention of moving or planning a wedding. I plan no drywalling or mold clean-up. When I have my friends over I hope to entertain them, not put them to work.

The best thing since. . .

Well, I don't know what. But something for sure.

Pinterest. Just the name makes me want to go paint something. Or buy something cute. Or at least find a picture of something cute.

So if you're playing there, come find me.

It worked with my kids

Right now I'm really struggling to like some people that I love. And I'm disappointed with some people that I like. This isn't anything new. It happens with jarring regularity.

I am so tired of grown adults behaving like children. Or even worse, like junior high students.

I'm so tired of snide comments and pot-stirring. Of extreme comments begetting more extreme responses. Of plain-old, flat-out meanness.

I'm sick of bickering.

I'd like to grab several different sets of people by the scruff of their necks and stand them in the middle of my living room. I'd make them stand forehead to forehead with each other until there was laughter and forgiveness.

As my children have taught me, some people are stupid-stubborn, and this can take a while, but I've never seen it fail.