Once again I am trying to get a modicum of control over my life. Yes, again.
I spent some hours Saturday--as I sat on the couch with my bum ankle and newly-twisted knee propped up and iced--berating myself for my lack of accomplishment. I haven't been to the Y in months. My house is pretty much of a wreck. I haven't baked since Christmas, aside from one delightful triple batch of biscuits. I am making almost no contribution to the family finances, even though a modicum of effort would add a significant amount to my income. I really want to sell my house, but there is a huge amount that needs to be done in order to accomplish that.
As I stewed, I remembered a suggestion for mothers who get to the end of the day and feel like the haven't accomplished anything. Make a list of what you was accomplish and then cross items off. So I went back a week to last Saturday and wrote down everything that I had done. Suddenly, I didn't look like such a slacker. There was work done on the church nursery and books. There was an out-of-town trip and shopping. There were meetings. There was laundry and cleaning. There was cooking for about 50 people outside our family across three different occasions. Then there was a bum-leg day on Friday, when I at least got photos uploaded and ordered from Snapfish.
I felt a bit better. Maybe I'm not a slacker. But I still have a problem. I have to find a way to fit in the things that I want and need to do.