Margin, take two, or maybe three

About exactly six months ago I began thinking and writing about the concept of margin. For a while I seemed to be getting a handle on my schedule. Then just a couple of things outside of my direct control turned my life into something resembling a game of pick-up sticks.

The kind of chaos that needs to end.

Fresh off a few really busy weeks, followed by a short vacation, I'm ready to get back to work on creating some margin in my life. I'm ready to spend some time on the things that I really want to spend time on. I'm ready to try to get rid of more of my physical and mental clutter.

This week, with the help and support of my boss, I've instituted a firm limit on the amount of time I will spend at work in a week. This is going to be a huge help. Now I just need to stick to it.

I've gotten my calendar out and scheduled some time for my genealogy, both my personal research and the work I need to do toward becoming accredited.

I'm trying to figure out what needs to happen with my house to make things as functional as possible.

I've set a date for a yard sale. And for a visit with the husband at his apartment. And a trip to the art museum. Because if these things don't get scheduled, they don't happen.

There are some variables that may make adjustments necessary. I will be a child-care backup for a friend's one-year-old this school year, and will have him most of the week from time to time. I may have family things that come up. Who knows what may happen. But, for now, it feels good to have something of a plan.

Margin rewind

So, after my last very optimistic post I found out how quickly margin can disappear: Emotional, physical, time, and money all in the space of about a week. Wiped out. It only takes a couple of unexpected events, plus some bad timing, a few sleepless nights, and suddenly BAM, you're back to square one. If that.

But I'm not giving up. If anything I am doubling down on creating margin in the areas where I have control. I have finished the book and--thank goodness--found some things that I am doing right already among the many things that I need to improve.

And I realize that if I hadn't already been working on creating margin, the couple of horrible weeks that I had could have been worse.

I have some steps that I am going to be taking to create more margin. More about that as I solidify plans.

Margin multiplies

Maybe the book will talk about this. I don't know. But what I do know is that margin multiplies.

It does. It is rather amazing.

It started with just thinking about margin and realizing that I needed it. Over a couple of weeks I planned in project time and empty time, among the hustle of work and other activities. Putting OPEN time on my calendar meant that when things happened during the week and ate up my project time, I still had my Sunday afternoon that was for whatever: a nap, a project, reading, cleaning. Whatever.

I chose to use the free time to clean my pantry, a task that had been bumped by a couple of unexpected trips across town earlier in the week. This picture is the after. The before had me embarrassed to have anyone in my house,  completely clueless about what was in my pantry, and completely incapable of finding anything that I was fairly certain was in there.

Besides, I LOVE this room. It holds some of my favorite things. It is a beautiful space. I'm lucky to have it. And I want to enjoy it.

But that isn't what this post is about. It's about margin multiplying.

Since I got the pantry cleaned and organized, I was able to fix dinner Sunday through Wednesday without making a trip to the grocery. (Which means I got to miss the beginning of the month food stamp crowd and the oh-no-a-snowstorm! crowd.)  This also meant that I didn't have to squeeze a trip to the grocery in and that I got to use the time for other things.

Since the pantry was done, my Wednesday afternoon project time was spent on paperwork. I got bills paid. Looked at budgeting for the next couple of months. Balanced the checking account. And I got most of the papers that we need for our taxes pulled together over two weeks before I meet with the accountant. (By the way, talk about a decision that gave me margin!) I identified two things that I am missing while there is still plenty of time to get them.

I have margin at work. I am now consistently working at least two weeks ahead.

Knowing what was in my pantry alerted me to some things that need to be used up. This is going to save us money in the long run. More margin.

For me, one huge benefit that I am already seeing is a reduction in worry. This means that I slept like a baby last night. Nothing was nagging at my brain. Good sleep means waking up ready to go. I was able to move through a very busy day feeling like I was firing on all cylinders. Today was incredibly productive. Productivity means that I got more done today than I had planned at work, so I don't need to work tomorrow. More margin!

For some of you, all of this is going to seem so obvious. But for me, with my ADD brain and my heretofore chronically over-committed life, this is a revelation.

Pray for me, that I will be able to maintain it.

One problem with time management books

" The goal of much that is written about life management is to enable us to do more in less time." Jean Fleming, quoted in Margin. "Perhaps we need to get less done, but the right things."

YES. Oh yes.

The things that happen

When I'm overwhelmed I get more absent-minded. This week I was distracted. Busy. Andrew, who often helps me keep my head on, was very busy working and getting ready for a D&D weekend.
I tried to fit in a few household tasks on Thursday. One of those was making some stock with the carcass of Monday's roasted chicken.

I made the stock.

And then I went to work, made salad for 50 people, went to church, went home exhausted, and went to bed. Friday I was at work almost all day, except when I was running errands. I was gone last night. I went to work this morning, then to the grocery, then did laundry and worked on cleaning the upstairs.

I just decided to get started on the chili for tomorrow's lunch for the D&D players. Grabbed my stock pot from the back of the stove, where I assumed it was sitting clean, having completely forgotten that the stock ever existed.

Oh yes. It's still there.

Andrew usually makes sure all food is properly stowed before he goes to bed. But he probably assumed that the stockpot, sitting on the back of the stove with the lid on, was clean, just like I did today.

Now I need to get rid of wasted, yucky, beginning-to-smell stock before I can cook. This is why I need margin.

Being derailed

Every time I  make a new attempt to get organized, get control, or anything else of the sort, I get derailed very quickly. Something happens--life, my raging ADD, busyness--and knocks me off the tracks and instead of hopping back on, I just chuck it all.

This week I have had my schedule thrown off by a bad headache and sore throat, which wiped out my cleaning day, and a couple of unproductive days at work caused by too many interruptions one day and grief over the death of an on-line friend's husband the other. (If you are not already, please pray for Rhonda. Her husband's death leaves her a widow with six children from four months to 10 years.)

So today, which was to be my catch-up and project day at home, with a little scrapbooking for good measure, is, of necessity, going to be spent mostly at work. But instead of chucking it all, I am determined to regroup. I'm going to sit down with my calendar at lunch and plan next week, shifting a few things around to make up for this week's lapses.

How do those of you who plan your time make up for lost days? I have no problem being flexible; flexible is my middle name.  That is what has always gotten me into trouble with any kind of plan. I'm so flexible that any sign of the plan is soon gone.

And as the week ends I am still behind on my house; I still haven't done a thing with my pictures this year; the laundry is piling up; the refrigerator is a disorganized mess. . . .

Time to get moving

Most of the time one part of my body or another hurts. If it's not my neck and head or my ankle and knee, it's my shoulder and arm or my back. It slows me down. It makes it hard for me to sleep.

The chiropractor helps, but the one I like is thirty minutes away and our budget--tightened as it is by increases in taxes, insurance costs, deductibles, and copays, plus college tuition and the myriad other expenses that accompany it, not to mention the rising cost of gas--really can't handle too many visits.

I've known for a while that I need to do something. A while back--okay, months ago--I ordered a series of DVDs that looked good. I also have a good yoga CD. Part of my new effort at gaining margin and getting my time under control is a commitment to actually use these things.

You see, I have a problem. I am LAZY. I would rather sit in the chair and read than get down on the floor and exercise. In the summer I walk and I swim, but even with that exercise I know that I need to do more if I want to be able to move when I'm 65. Let alone 80.

So tonight I did the first of the DVD's. It was focused on the neck and shoulders. There are exercises and also aspects of body movement that I need to focus on. It felt good. I'm going to start doing these exercises daily, mixed with the yoga.

Saying yes, saying no

My dear friend Mary commented, on Facebook, on my last post, and it immediately provoked another post.

For some of us, even when we are already drowning in busyness, it is very hard to say no. For me it has always come from two things, one weakness and one strength.

The weakness is that I don't want to disappoint people. I don't want to make them sad. I don't want them to be mad at me. So I do things that I don't really want to do and for which I don't have time because I don't want to upset the asker. This is where I need to continue to learn to say no.

The strength is that I like to do things for people. I like to help people when they need help. I like to feed people. I like to host people and events. I have no desire to learn to say no to these things. If you need a meal, if your kid needs a ride somewhere, if you just need a break and need to have something done, ask me.

Learning to distinguish between these two has been tricky. Once in a while they are hard to tell apart. A couple of the people who push me to say no don't understand that all requests are not equal. But they aren't.

The other difficulty that grows out of not being able to say no is not being able to ask for help. I don't want to burden someone else who can't say no by asking them to do something, so I tend not to ask for help. I do, now, have a couple of people who I am pretty sure will tell me if they can't or don't want to do something. And that helps. I can ask them. Sometimes. But that is still really hard for me.

First thoughts about margin

A couple of posts ago I wrote about gaining control of my time. As part of that effort, I ordered a book that a friend recommended several years ago. The title is Margin and it is about giving yourself some space in all of the aspects of your life: time, finances, physical energy, and emotional energy.

As I've started reading it, one of the things that has struck me is how many different directions we have things coming at us from and how many different directions we are pulled by things. I started limiting inputs a couple of years ago. I dumped an email list that was made up of people for whom I cared, but that was--overall--mostly a source of stress. I left a couple of others that had ceased to be useful to me. We got rid of our satellite television service. (That deserves a whole post of its own!)

I have also tried to limit things that are pulling at me. I left a board of directors that made huge, largely thankless, demands on my time. I still serve the group, but in smaller ways. And since I'm no longer on the board, it is easier to say no to those things that I am not inclined to help with. I have avoided the temptations of several other opportunities to be heavily involved with various groups and instead serve, when I can, from the periphery. We also finally found someone to take on my treasurer position at church, which all too often seemed to be the proverbial straw on this camel's back.

There are more things like this that may be jettisoned soon. Nothing is off the table right now.

This room needs margin.

I have a former business that I have left in limbo. I am still spending money--just a small amount, but still money--each month for tools that I am not currently using. I need to come to a decision about the place of that business in my life. Right now it is mental, emotional, and physical clutter. All useful if I return to being active in the business, but if not, there really needs to be a period put to it.

I am also looking for ways to simplify and help to clear out even more of the stuff around here. I have promised myself weekly scrapbooking time, but this year I need to use up the supplies I have. So, that means no new paper. (This truly is not a hardship.) This will save money and force me to use some of the thousands of sheets of paper and cardstock that are taking up space in my extra room.


Anyone who sees me often knows that I wear the same clothes almost all the time. Yet I own a lot of clothes. That fit. And are nice, stylish clothes. I need to figure out what I am going to use and allow the rest to be useful to someone else, instead of hanging in the closet torturing me.

There's more. And I have more of the book to read. But the campaign for peace and sanity continues.