Tuesday, August 20, 2013

No place like home

I once gave my mom a gift that said, "Home is where your mom is." It was partially to reassure her that it didn't matter that she had moved from any place that we had ever lived together; her house would always be home to me. But I also gave it to her because it struck a cord in me. I think that maybe, just maybe, I've finally figured out why.

Throughout the '80s we were reminded weekly that, "Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name," and that may be true. But even more so, sometimes you want to go to a place where someone knows you. Not just your name. Not who they've decided that you are. You.

My mama knows me.

There is a peace and relaxation in being with someone who knows you. A feeling of home. (This is why a visit to my daughter in New Hampshire--where I had never been before--felt like a sort of homecoming.) I spend a lot of time with people who think they know me, but who I suspect completely misunderstand me at a fundamental level. It's stressful in a way that is hard for me to describe.

When I pull up outside my mom's condo I feel the same way I do when I pull up in the driveway of my crazy house and am greeted by my sons. I feel the way I do when my husband's car pulls into the driveway on Friday night. I feel like I do when my daughter greets me wherever she is living now.

I feel like I'm home.
My mama.


Elephantschild said...

You made me cry!


Presbytera said...

Yes and yes. Thank God for those who know us. In 1969 I gave my future mother in law a plaque that says "We need to have people who meam something to us. People to whom we can turn knowing that being with them is coming home." She has gone on to be in heaven but in my heart she defines "coming home

Jane said...

And isn't it beautiful that she is waiting for you in your forever home?!

mom said...

I read this soon after you posted it; of course tears were my immediate reaction. I love you so much.
Then, as I was preparing dinner and peeling the last of the tomatoes you brought us :), I had an opportunity to soak for a little while on what you said. You described so well the feeling I have of being known (and loved!) by the handful of people with whom I feel at home. No, wait, there are more than a handful just in your family! It's a wonderful thing.
And "forever home" is almost too much to take in!

Jane said...

After I posted that comment I was thinking about how much going to either of my Grandmas' houses felt like going home and how wonderful it is to know that they will welcome us home someday. :) Of course there are no tears involved. ;)

Bethany said...

Oh, you two. Just stop it. *sniffle*